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June 10, 2023


The findings of a new study, published Wednesday in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B, suggest that masturbation is actually a long-possessed trait of humanity's primate predecessors, predating us by at least tens of millions of years.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Matt F.)


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Humanity’s primate predecessors might have found this study to be quite agitating.

*predating us by at least tens of millions of years.

This pretty much at least narrows the timeline down.

Diff'rent Strokes...

You've gotta hand it to those scientists.

Seems like all the water has been marching for quite some time.

Now if there was some long term studies available that showed a statistical relationship between blindness and the subject activity. Maybe all the scientists went blind and could not publish.

My philosophy has been do it until you need glasses. And with the state of modern day optometry, you can get glasses that will correct just about any eye condition. And then again, I don't believe all that crap mumbo-jumbo that statisticians try to baffle you with. How many blind statisticians have you met?

Are we still in Schmance?

What really was Portnoy's complaint?

That makes it sound like those knuckle-draggers were pretty callous.

Excuse me while I honor my ancestors.

Couldn't help but notice this article was published in a pretty large font size.


"Oh, it was masturbation I know..."

(to the tune of "Fascination")

Do not forget the other two major important aspects in this area of their study:

- Mental masturbation - has almost all the benefits of the real physical act but does not have the negative effects such as blindness, hair loss, or hair on the palms and maybe other effects not yet documented.

- The effect of modern biochemistry in the ready availability of performance-enhancing medications (such as Viagra) and the universal availability of generic knockoffs that are available thru TV ad. These drugs provide all the performance enhancements but, if use properly, e.g., masturbation, but without the less desirable side-effects (pregnancy). Or, "A bird in the hand, is worth not-two in the bush." if you get my drift.

Yeah scince.

If I ever wondered why Walter was so popular...

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