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May 31, 2023
CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL
Woman accused of pointing gun inside Cracker Barrel, firing it inside Waffle House off I-20
(Thanks to EricY and Robert Moats)
AND IN SPORTS
Furious man smashes beauty pageant winner's crown after his wife comes second
(Thanks to Alan Dean)
CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR
Toothpaste thief caught with $2,100 worth of tubes
(Thanks to Ralph)
WE BET THE CHICKS DIG IT
WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS
AI industry and researchers sign statement warning of ‘extinction’ risk
(Thanks to Alan Dean and Steve K., who says "I had a serious discussion with my computer, and told it that I know where the plug is.")
THE LATEST FROM THE 'PALEO' HEALTH MOVEMENT
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
May 30, 2023
OF ALL THE PRODUCTS THAT AREN'T REAL BUT WE WISH THEY WERE
'WHO, ME, OFFICER?'
AND IN SPORTS
Woman wins UK cheese rolling race despite being knocked unconscious
(Thanks to many people)
SHE'S A SELF-DESCRIBED 'AMATEUR SCIENTIST,' SO THIS HAS TO BE LEGIT
Aliens are mutilating sheep in Wales and leaving 'very precise' clues, claims UFO hunter
(Thanks to John Lobert)
THEREBY QUALIFYING FOR AN ADDITIONAL FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE
Woman drives into water at New Smyrna Beach park, faces DUI charge, deputies say
(Thanks to Duane Carrell)
May 29, 2023
'DAREDEVIL' IS ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE HIM
HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL
85-year-old man arrested for stealing condoms from convenience store
(Thanks to Joe in Japan)
JUST BLACK COFFEE FOR US, THANKS
GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE STRIKES AGAIN
Heavy rains expose ancient phallus
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
THINKING OF GOING FOR A SWIM THIS MEMORIAL DAY?
(Thanks to The Perts)
A FLORIDA SAILING LICENSE IS ON THE WAY
BMW convertible drifts out to sea after owner parked on beach
(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w and Ralph)
MEMORIAL DAY
Have a good one. But please remember -- and remind your kids -- what it's about.
May 28, 2023
CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR
Man breaks in, mops floor, takes selfies, steals cupcakes in Vancouver robbery
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
NOPE
Squirrel haggis and Japanese knotweed reach UK menus as invasive species trend grows
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner, who says "I'd rather eat the bugs.")
AMBIENCE!
Seagull scarer in bird outfit helps diners eat their seaside fish and chips in peace
(Thanks to John Lobert)
CRY US A RIVER
Warming Arctic Could Put Chill On Squirrel 'Date Nights'
(Thanks to Rodney Bertelsen)
AND IN BASEBALL
Mets’ Pete Alonso hit first-pitch homer because he had to poop: ‘Straight to the bathroom’
(Thanks to Michael Parry)
ALSO 'GOOD SHERRY'
I’m a 102-year-old — good sex is my secret to a long life
(Thanks to Allen at Division and Michael Parry)
CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR
UPDATE
Man who terrified passengers by opening aircraft door midair ‘wanted to get off quickly’
Well in that case, sir...
(Thanks to Steve K.)
GUYS IN ACTION
Pa. man in jail after nearly burning his house down trying to kill spiders
(Thanks to The Fourth George)
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE
Meet the ‘gummy squirrel’ and thousands of other newly discovered deep-sea species – in pictures
(Thanks to Michael Parry)
AND IN HONG KONG SPORTS
At the stroke of midnight, the 12 brave participants scrambled up a 60-foot tower made of buns.
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
SUCH A DEAL
THE SON WILL LOOK BACK AND LAUGH ONE DAY, AFTER HE'S FINALLY OUT OF THERAPY
FLORIDA ART CRITIC OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Well in that case, sir: NBC Miami reported that Modrok told local police that he had targeted the work because the park it resided in was named after Justin Flippen, a former mayor of Wilton Manors who Modrok blamed “for the birds that we hear.”
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
FYI
I’m a urologist — men have been peeing the wrong way
(Thanks to Michael Parry)
May 27, 2023
CONNECTICUT TACKLES THE ISSUES
FATHER’S DAY IS COMING
Always wanted a lighthouse? US is giving some away, selling others at auction
(Thanks to Al Barkafski)
HE DROPPED IT WHILE TAKING A SELFIE
India official drains entire dam to retrieve phone
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
(He did not, in fact, drain the dam; he drained the reservoir.)
May 26, 2023
CRY US A RIVER
YOU ARE NOW FREE TO POOP YOUR DRAWERS
Terrifying moments as plane door opens midair on Asiana Airlines flight
(Thanks to Jay Brandes and EricY)
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
Drivers can change lanes using just their eyes in new BMW 5-series sedan
(Thanks to Al Barkafski)
O THE HUMANITY, DUDES
IT WAS THE ONLY OPTION
Man steals backhoe for 10-mile drive to Illinois airport to catch flight
(Thanks to Ralph)
'SITZPINKLER'
Why German men urinate sitting down
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
THAT'S A LOT OF SALAD
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?
A researcher used her baby's used diapers to build a greener home
(Thanks to many people)
BUT YOU HAVE TO ASSEMBLE YOUR TABLE AND CHAIRS
IKEA's All-You-Can-Eat Midsummer Buffet Returns This Summer
(Thanks to klezmerphan)
WHO KNOWS WHAT THE OTHER SQUIRRELS WERE UP TO WHILE THE FIREFIGHTERS WERE DISTRACTED
Pet squirrel rescued from tree in Ohio
(Thanks to John Lobert)
WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Georgia reminds digital driver's license users to wear clothes for photos
(Thanks to John Lobert and Ralph)