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April 24, 2023
IN THAT CASE, DUDE, YOU ARE FREE TO GO
Man crashes truck trying to light marijuana on 'weed day'
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
OR YOU COULD JUST, YOU KNOW, NOT
Pensioner, 86, vows to 'flash his own crown jewels' to mark King Charles' Coronation
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE IS ON THE WAY
There’s life growing on a giant patch of garbage in the ocean
(Thanks to The Perts)
LOOK UP 'FLORIDA MAN' IN THE DICTIONARY...
...you'll see this guy.
(Thanks to EricY)
April 23, 2023
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT
Man is knocked out in Cub Scouts meeting in fight over parking spot, Michigan cops say
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
MICE CAN PICK THEIR NOSES?
Mouse Study Suggests an Unexpected Link Between Nose-Picking And Alzheimer's
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
This headline suggests that there was an expected link between nose-picking and Alzheimer's.
THE REST HE WASTED
Ohio man used more than $300K in taxpayer money for wildebeest, hot tubs, roadside zoo
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
INCLUDING THE FIRST KNOWN IMAGE OF KEITH RICHARDS
AMID MOUNTING TENSION, TENSION MOUNTS STILL FURTHER IN THE MIDDLE EAST
Cow wanders into hardware store in Israel, spills paint
(Thanks to John Lobert)
MUST BE 'OUTGOING' AND 'COMFORTABLE WEARING BIRD COSTUMES'
WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE POPCORN
Moose wanders into Kenai movie theater and leaves with a Happy Meal
(Thanks to Jane Linderman, whose hometown is Kenai)
'BOWLING SHOES MUST BE WORN'
Nude bowling coming to Crafton-Ingram Lanes this weekend
(Thanks to Jim Chines)
'EVEN A NAPPY'
Woman dressed cat up as a baby in attempt to smuggle drugs into resort
(Thanks to John Lobert)
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT WOUND UP HAPPENING
NOBEL PRIZE ALERT
Physicists Determine The Ultimate Strategy For The Playground Swing
(Thanks to John Lobert)
The ultimate strategy is to teach your child to operate the swing without parental help so you can go sit down somewhere.
April 22, 2023
WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No, you can't pack a shillelagh in your carry-on
(Thanks to Carl Youngdahl)
UPDATE
IT PROBABLY ENCOUNTERED AN AUSTRALIAN CLAM
Gigantic, 13-foot crocodile found with its head torn off on Australian beach
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN A CAR, LIKE ALL THE OTHER DRUNKS
DUI on a bicycle? Man was pedaling while intoxicated on Florida island, police say
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
SOLUTION: BLACKOUT CURTAINS
Nudists In Austria Oppose Plans For Cable Car Over Their Beach
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
WHAT POLE, OFFICER?
THIS IS AN ACT OF WAR
Belgium destroys shipment of American beer after taking issue with ‘Champagne of Beer’ slogan
(Thanks to Holland Daze and Robert Moats)
IT’S CALLED ‘GRAVITY’
Strange phenomenon causing loons to fall out of the sky in northern Wisconsin
(Thanks to Al Barkafski)
April 21, 2023
‘LET’S GO OUT TO A DANCE SOMEWHERE’
Man, 109, who still drives his car every day has simple tips for long life
(Thanks to The Fourth George, who says “Tip #1: Stay out of his way.”)
FUN GAL
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and Janice Gelb)
AND IN BELGIAN SPORTS
IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE
Wisconsin deputies respond to driver's 'curious' call of 'bobcat in my car'
(Thanks to Rod Nunley and B&C)
ASTEROID-MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE
Speeding asteroid as big as 123 Elle Brookes set to crash into Earth's orbit next week
(Thanks to EricY)
We didn’t know who she was either.
AND IN FRENCH SPORTS
French cyclists create record-breaking GPS velociraptor
(Thanks to John Lobert)
FLORIDAAAAAA
Father, daughter rescued after jet ski sinks into alligator-filled lake
(Thanks to The Perts)
WE WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT RESEARCHERS
When you give a worm weed, it gets the munchies, researchers find
(Thanks to Steve K., The Perts and Ralph)
April 20, 2023
WE’RE GUESSING HE’S SINGLE
OOPS
THEY’RE TAKING THE INNOCENT JOY OUT OF CHILDHOOD
New Zealand feral cat-killing competition for children axed after backlash
(Thanks to Holland Daze)
YOU KNOW WHERE IT WAS HEADED
SUV crashes through second floor of California home
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who asks “Would this be a Florida driver license or Florida pilot license?” Also Jay Brandes and Barry Nester, who say “They're here at last! Flying cars!”)
THAT PERSON NEEDS TO GET INDOORS *NOW*
WAIT… THE WIFE SPLIT WITH THE GATOR?
Wife calls animal control on husband’s 8-foot gator after they split, officials say
(Thanks to Dougin Sacramento)
April 19, 2023
SO THESE ARE ATTACK CHICKENS?
Thieves use chickens to attempt home break-ins in York County
(Thanks to The Fourth George)
WELL IN THAT CASE, HERE'S YOUR MEDAL!
Scottish ultra-marathon runner blames injury and jetlag for using car in race
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
EVERYBODY’S MOVING HERE
Those Seaweed Blobs Headed for Florida? See How Big They Are.
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says “They all have valid drivers' licenses.”)
ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK
Cube-shaped creature with 24 eyes discovered hiding in pond in Hong Kong
(Thanks to Barry Nester)
BIG DEAL. IN MIAMI IT CAN VOTE.
Clallam County has been declared a Sasquatch protection and refuge zone.
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
‘UNDERPANTS UNDERGROUND’
Flanders residents called on to bury underpants
(Thanks to Ralph)
WHICH IS WHY THEY’RE ALL DEAD
Human Ancestors Were Nearly All Vegetarians
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO LEGALLY CHANGE YOUR NAME
City of Kyle seeks people named Kyle for world record attempt
(Thanks to John Lobert)
BRILLIANT, EH DUDES?
Uber Eats launches cannabis delivery service in Vancouver, Victoria
(Thanks to EricY)
TWEET (burp) TWEET
Wildlife officials warn of drunk birds
(Thanks to Allen at Division)