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March 08, 2023


King Charles Will Not Be Smeared With The Intestinal Wax Of Sperm Whales At His Coronation

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)


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I saw Intestinal Wax of Sperm Whales at in Rock am Ring festival in '84.

I love the idea of Charlie Boy being "drizzled with olive oil like a bruschetta" though.

Thanks for the heads up, Dave! I can skip the pay-per-view on that one.

Just how is he supposed to function as King then? Will he be able to tally hos?

Well, there's certainly no reason to watch it now, unless Queen Camilla gets a facial.

Around the corridors of The House of Windsor a stiff preventative crown cleaning for the May King will be done. The Earl of Scheib will be put to task trimming the smudged bustle in the hedgerow.

Maybe this is a protection for the Windsors. Who the H..l would want to be king and go thru this?

It's just as well since ambergris is such short supply. On the plus side there's been a lot of square grouper washing ashore, perhaps we dust the whole entourage and liven the party up a tad? Release the cocaine wild cats!

The responsible noble organizer finally managed to secure their 'first choice' to perform at the Coronation.

First choice here.

The first vid released from the 'Coronation Royal Gettogether Dance' just in by Noble Hear ye, Hear ye! summons only.

Really, Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

"It's good to be the King!!"

Perhaps the PETA crowd would be okay with Charles being greased with the rendered blubber of a beached (and therefore dead) whale--paging Oregon Highway Division? And why, exactly, is whale vomit cruel (except for the person being smeared with it)?

I know, it's not funny any more. Think hair.

What about Royal Jelly? And in concert with Camilla. As sung by the Bee Gee's Knees. Thought of Camilla gives me hives.

Prep H works just as well.

Snork Awards to all!

This certainly explains the decline of the British Empire.

I think he could be anointed with Valvoline 5W-30 oil. It is a good oil, I am using it in my car. I have a quart left, I can get it blesse if necessary.

How far has England fallen since the empire collapsed?

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