March 27, 2023
WE HAVE LOST OUR MINDS, AS A SPECIES
DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS TO THE BLOG THAT WE DID NOT FINISH READING
Hello admin,
I have found your website from a google search and visited.
IT WAS THE ONLY RATIONAL RESPONSE
BUT STILL ON THE CLOCK
Firefighters discover ‘missing’ plumber asleep in crawl space under California home
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
THEY'RE WEARING DISGUISES, YOU FOOL
I Can't Believe How Different Squirrels Look In Other Countries
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
WE ASSUME IT WILL FAIL
NYC’s Museum of Failure opens to make us feel better about our lives
(Thanks to Al Barkafski)
March 26, 2023
APPARENTLY THESE RESEARCHERS HAVE NEVER RIDDEN THE NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY
WHICH CAN ALSO BE DEADLY
Bomb-sniffing dog leads handlers to explosive outside the NYSE — which turned out to be rat poop
(Thanks to EricY and John Lobert)
ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE
Giant 'city killer' asteroid to fly by Earth TOMORROW - and it's bigger than 4,000 buses
(Thanks to John Lobert)
GUESS WHERE THIS PLANT IS LOCATED
WE'RE GUESSING IT'S DRUGS
How jumping spiders became the new ‘it’ pets
(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)
HEY, CAT PEOPLE:
You have some explaining to do.
(Thanks to John Lobert)
'INTERTWINING THEIR GIANT PENISES'
David Attenborough’s Wild Isles shocks viewers with graphic slug sex scene
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
WE STAND WITH BERLIN
Berlin welcomes topless female swimmers in victory for activists
(Thanks to Carlos Montage)
CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR
B.C. family comes home from vacation to find a goat has moved in
(Thanks to Doug Ogg)
SO SCIENTISTS ARE ALSO DOING THIS?
March 25, 2023
IS THERE ANYTHING THAT *ISN'T* OUR FAULT?
French blame 'Americanisation' of baking bread for causing farting epidemic
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
NOBEL PRIZE ALERT
THERE'S AN OINTMENT FOR THAT
What's That Big White Splotch on Uranus?
(Thanks to Jay Brandes)
ATTENTION ALL HANDS: PEE OVER THE SIDE
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
NOBODY IN AUSTRALIA SHOULD TOUCH OR EVEN APPROACH *ANYTHING*
Australians warned not to touch or even approach the poisonous Dendrocnide moroides trees there
(Thanks to Matt Filar and Rick Day)
IN THAT CASE, SIR, HERE'S A TREAT AND YOU ARE FREE TO GO
Man tells deputies his name is ‘Dog’ and barks during traffic stop, Florida cops say
(Thanks to Doug in Sacramento)
THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED
Potatoes are better than human blood for making space concrete bricks, scientists say
(Thanks to Mordechai Michael Schmutter)
MAYONNAISE: FOOD OF LOVE
NEXT LEVEL OF *WHAT*?
Designs To Take Your Nails To The Next Level
(Thanks to John Lobert)
WE WERE PROMISED FLYING CARS
You Can Now Order a Starbucks Drink Based on Your Zodiac Sign
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE
Asteroid the size of 22 tuna fish to fly closer to Earth than the Moon
(Thanks to John Grant and Maryann)
PAGING LES NESSMAN
Nevada church to have 10K Easter eggs dropped from helicopter
(Thanks to Mike in Dayton)
CUBA, KANSAS: CITY OF EXCITEMENT
None of YOUR business
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says "It's snot for me to say.")
UP TO THAT POINT IT WAS A FUN EXPERIENCE
Tourist survives bungee jump fall in Thailand after cord snaps
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
THE ENVELOPE PLEASE...
'Not the most attractive': Underdog snail wins Mollusc of the Year
(Thanks to klezmerphan)
March 24, 2023
A BLOW FOR JUSTICE
Farting Lawyer Wins $170K Over Being Refused Permission to Work From Home
(Thanks to Annette)
WE SAW THREE LOOSE MEERKATS OPEN FOR THE KINGSTON TRIO
Three meerkats on the loose in Netherlands town
(Thanks to John Lobert)
DEFFANITELY
Are we growing more dumber? Americans’ IQ scores drop in four of five measurements
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
EVEN IF WE PLAY FLIGHT SIMULATOR?
Think you can land a plane in an emergency? Pilots explain why you can’t.
Unsurprising: Almost half of the men who responded were confident they could do it, compared with 20 percent of the women.
(Thanks to Steve K., who says “I guarantee I could get it on the ground.”)
NEXT STOP: WASHINGTON
South Carolina's top accountant to resign after $3.5B error
(Thanks to Barry Nester)
UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT
(Thanks to Barry Nester, who says “Everybody makes mistakes.”)
‘HOW WAS SCHOOL TODAY, DEAR?’
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
A HERO FOR OUR TIMES
IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME
March 23, 2023
ASTEROID-MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE
Huge asteroid the size of London's Big Ben will get closer to Earth than the MOON on Saturday
(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)
SO YOU'RE SAYING IT HAS FEET?
Lab-grown chicken is one step closer to being sold in the US
(Thanks to Ronald Troyer, who says "No.")
KIND OF LIKE WHEN EXPLORERS DISCOVERED THE TOMB OF TUTANKHAMUN, EXCEPT... IT'S A CONVERSATION PIT
Homeowners discover pink 1970s ‘conversation pit’ hidden under their floors, and TikTok is obsessed
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
TikTok is easily obsessed.
CANADA SINKS EVER DEEPER INTO CHAOS
FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS
An Ozarks church leader claims prayer regrew a woman's toes.
For you skeptics: A website urging anyone with proof to share it has popped up at ShowMeTheToes.com.
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
YOU KNOW WHO’S RUNNING THE SHOW
Feral Pigs Are Casually Destroying the Country. No One Can Stop Them.
(Thanks to Robert Moats)
WHAT’S THAT SMELL?
I have a 55-inch butt — I use it to smuggle booze into bars
(Thanks to Michael Parry and Doug Ogg)