Dave Barry's Blog

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE BILL OF RIGHTS

California bill would ban the sale of Skittles

(Thanks to vee)

SEND THIS SMELL TO WASHINGTON

Disgusting sewer smell drives Senate to abandon debates

(Thanks to Ralph)

You probably can't read the article. But you don't need to read the article. 

NEVER, EVER, RELAX IN A HOT TUB

Mountain lion attacks man from behind while he and his wife relaxed in hot tub

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

WE CAN NOW RETIRE THE NOBEL PRIZE

This is an experiment determining once and for all if corgi butts float. The answer? Yes, corgi butts float.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

NIGHTY-NIGHT!

Horror as monster snake discovered in bed

(Thanks to Ubetcha and John Lobert, who says “I was gobsmacked when I saw that this happened in Australia.”)

THIS IS ASSUMING THEY CAN SOLVE THE GIANT SELF-CLONING GOLDFISH PROBLEM

Edmonton is where you want to be when the zombie apocalypse comes, study finds

(Thanks to B&C)

ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

Men tunnel out of Virginia jail cell, then are found at IHOP

The first place you look is Waffle House.

(Thanks to Dennis Walter and Robert Moats)

GUESS WHERE THE BRIGALOW BELT IS*

'Rare and giant' trapdoor spider species, Euoplos dignitas, discovered in Brigalow Belt

(Thanks to Christopher Shelley, The Fourth George and Robert Moats)

*Right below the Brigalow Suspenders.

EVERYBODY OUT OF CANADA *NOW*

B.C. has a problem: Goldfish as large as a football are rapidly cloning themselves

(Thanks to B&C)

BECAUSE ALL THIS TIME YOU’VE BEEN WONDERING

Adam West's Frantic Batman Performance Was All Because Of Some Itchy Tights

(Thanks to Matt Filar)