Dave Barry's Blog

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

The man said that he had been sharing his room with the bandaged mummy and considered it "a kind of spiritual girlfriend".

He calls her “Juanita.”

(Thanks to GJ and Nelson from Michigan)

ALONG WITH SOME HIGHLY AGITATED MOLLUSKS

Police find 850 kilos of cocaine washed up on French beach

(Thanks to EricY, who says “Mon dieu, dude.”)

(Yes, Highly Agitated Mollusks WBAGNFARB.)

WATCH OUT, SHERLOCK HOLMES

West Virginia officials investigating reports of a powder in the air and on some vehicles in the mid-Atlantic have determined the source: pollen.

(Thanks to EricY)

HOW DID WE MISS THIS MOVIE?

The VelociPastor

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur.

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

THE KEITH OF CLAMS

Quahog clam found off Florida coast believed to be 214 years old

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says “as later confirmed by its valid Florida driver’s license.”)

THESE MOOSE TODAY

Police help relocate 'gorked out' moose from construction site

(Thanks to Ralph, and John Lobert, who says “I saw GOM open for the Animals.”)

SOMEBODY SHOULD SUE THAT CREMATORIUM

Man found alive ‘nine years after he was cremated’

(Thanks to John Lobert)

CSI: LA PORTE COUNTY, INDIANA

A dispute between neighbors in La Porte County resulted in a woman being mooned.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)