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February 05, 2023


Japanese zoo solves mystery of isolated gibbon's pregnancy

Key Excerpt:

The father of the male baby was found to be Itou, a 34-year-old agile gibbon. Zookeepers said the two apes were never on display together, but they discovered that the partition between Momo's exhibit and the back yard where Itou was kept while off-display had a perforated board with holes about 9 millimeters (.35 inches) in diameter.

Officials said they now believe the apes managed to mate through one of the holes.

“Agile” is right!

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says he saw Isolated Gibbon open for the Monkees.)


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Desperitou, why don't you come to your senses?
You've been out ridin' through fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Let’s see them get around the steel plate.

"Agile"? How about "painful"?

Love will always find a way.

My wife and I decide to try this out. I told per I would perforate a board with holes, but I will have to drill out the holes way, way larger than 9mm (.35 in) - like about an inch or diameter so to accommodate me. She said she thought the 9mm hole was a bit big. Whadayagonna do?

@man tom - See you at the Grammys!

A soon to be Hallmark special.

Poor Itou! Now the whole world knows he has the teeniest of tiny tadgers.

And poor Pullet! Wives can be brutal sometimes. Hang in there, buddy.

Gibbon Glory Hole!

Finally! We are moving beyond juvenile booger jokes, and sophomoric flatulence jokes, to sophisticated willie jokes. It’s about time, if you ask me. Alright, fine, nobody asked. But as Jimmy Durante famously said, “I’ve got a million of ‘em.” It would be a shame to let them go to waste. You know what I’m saying.

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