Dave Barry's Blog

TODAY IN GOBSMACKERY

You don't want to know.

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

HELLO, FARMERS?

Loose cow in California breaks windshield, poops on Tesla

(Thanks to Rob and Ralph)

THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

A Minnesota woman was jailed yesterday for domestic assault after allegedly clobbering her boyfriend in the head with “a whole chicken,” according to cops who reported that the victim “still had some chicken residue in his hair” when they responded to his 911 call for assistance.

(Thanks to Ralph)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

...the 63-story building will feature 216 units with sweeping ocean views, a slew of amenities, and an elevator designed to take residents up to their doorstep while seated inside their cars.

(Thanks to Steve K)

THEY'RE BLAMING A WOODPECKER, BUT IT'S OBVIOUS WHO'S REALLY RESPONSIBLE

Guy Cuts Hole In Wall And Is Shocked By What Comes Pouring Out

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR

Quebec's Weather Groundhog Was Found Dead On Groundhog Day

(Thanks to many people)

BOLO

Thieves steal gold-plated SEX TOYS worth £15,000 EACH from Spanish factory

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

BECAUSE YOU NEED MORE THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT

Sushi Terrorism.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

THEY DETERMINED ITS AGE BY LOOKING AT ITS FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

A 319-million-year-old brain has been discovered.

(Thanks to Michael Parry)

THANK GOD FOR STUDIES

Unattractive people are MORE likely to keep wearing face masks in post-Covid era, study suggests

(Thanks to Charles Cates)