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January 09, 2023

URGENT MEDICAL ADVISORY

Sex is a potent nasal decongestant.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

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Disclaimer: They're working on a nasal spray that's better that sex.

Upon reflection, it’s nice to think that I might have actually been a breath of fresh air for my parents, despite all indications otherwise.

“Doctor, doctor, I’m having terrible difficulty breathing, and decongestants just don’t seem to help!”

“Nurse, reschedule my next six appointments.”

Are we certain that they're doing it correctly?

'Be sure to blow your nose' takes on a whole new context

So if you're getting stuffed up, you should get stuffed up?

Somehow I'm not comforted by the knowledge I'm the equivalent of Afrin.

Also "decongests" other organs.

This is not new. I first heard of this about 40 years ago reading (I am not making this up!) a column in Penthouse.

The down side is the loss of precious bodily fluids....

No thanks. The spray takes a lot less time and effort.

I assume that only works if you swallow?

OK, I'll help you with that cold but I'll need dinner and a movie first.

"I hope you followed my suggestion to clear up that nasty nasal congestion, how are you feeling this afternoon, any better?"

How does that work? Nostrils are so tiny.

So what do you suppose they will name the kids? Snots, boogers (Dave can splain that)???? Have heard people refer to young unruly children as 'you little snot'. Does that presage they were the product of nasal relief congress?

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