HE HAS WRITTEN TEN BOOKS, SO THIS MUST BE TRUE

A leading UFO expert has warned that aliens “don't come in peace” after spending 45 years investigating potential extraterrestrial sightings.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Comments

[Pullet Surprise]

It's the cows, they are implanting themselves in the cows. Was walking along a fence with some cows standing nearby. I heard "Hey, buddy, can you tell us if Daylight Savings Time is in effect - the damn chickens want to know." Whoa, a close encounter of the nursecindy kind. Hmmm. I said "Yes, we are in Daylight Savings Time." I figure the cow/aliens are going to prank the damn chickens. Imagine the damn chickens then think the roosters have to crow an hour earlier now. So when the roosters crow an hour earlier they wake up the farmers way too early - loser, loser chicken dinner. Imagine those damn chickens when the farmers show up with an ax - pullet surprise.

[Art Vandelay]

They came here and planted okra in our fields and gardens. Eating okra implants alien technology in your body so they can control you. I've never (voluntarily) eaten okra and I take a daily regimen of anti okra supplements to rid my body of it. Those of you eating okra will become zombies under control of aliens when they activate the implants on July 17, 2023.

Don't ask me how I know - I'm an expert.

[nursecindy]

"[These are] small childlike creatures, about three to four feet in height with bluey-grey translucent skin, large pear-shaped heads with inky black wrap-around eyes. No sign of any genitalia."
Well I think we all know what they're looking for now.

[Burt Macklin, FBI]

"They have an agenda for sure - we can but speculate."

You know what they say about people that speculate:

Between a SPEC and a LATE, is YOU!

[Ron G in WA]

Heaven forbid we start listening to people who have written a bunch of books! Next we'll find out he has a blog, too! :P

[Rod]

Isn't their agenda to serve man?

[Meanie the Blue]

Seems to me they are simply looking for directions.

[wanderer2575]

What they say: "I've spent 45 years investigating potential extraterrestrial sightings."

What they mean: "I've spent 45 years watching 'To Serve Man' and 'People Are Alike All Over.'"

[Meanie the Blue]

And Robinson has warned that aliens “have an agenda”, although it is not yet clear what it is. Found it!

1. Introduction

2. Minutes of previous abduction

3. Discussion:

A. Genital recovery

B. Alien expert denial/rebuttal

C. Cloaking techniques - improvements

D. Deciphering Scottish accents

4. Adjourn

[the ghost of Art Bell]

You people need to let the aliens know that our friendly, grain-fed neighbors to the North, the Canadians, are tastier by far than any stringy, dried up, vegan American.

[Frank Costanza]

I'd be less concerned about whether they come in peace & more worried that they might come in Uranus.

[Pullet Surprise]

Notes from the field: we tried the instruction list provided by Meanie T. Blue and when we got to Item #3.D. we ran into problems. We tried Google Translate and that punted to Siri who called out for Alexa. Beginning to think that the Scottish language rivals the Navajo language used by the Code Talkers of WWII. So can we skip #3.D. and move on to Item #4.? We are pretty good at Adjourning. So what translate feature do they use in the main frame on the Bridge of DBBlog? And don't say the answer is '42'.

[Pullet Surprise]

It is happening now - AI is upon us. Alien Interference. People are publishing methods to allow you to distinguish AI from Real I. I understand a crumpled sheet of aluminum foil placed around the head will block the control signals. The scene from the Wizard of Oz where the great Oz says "Don't look behind that screen." "Todo, we are not on Uranus anymore."

[Mad Hatter]

^5 @Meanie the Blue! :-)

[PirateBoy's AI Assignment, D-]

I tried (and failed) at this using ChatGPT:

Write a three paragraph essay about alien abductions in the style of Dave Barry:

Ladies and Gentlemen, have you ever been jolted awake in the middle of the night by a strange, otherworldly light beaming down into your bedroom? No? Well, according to some folks, this is a common occurrence for those who've been "abducted" by aliens. That's right, I said aliens! And these aren't the friendly, green aliens with the big eyes and antennae that we're used to seeing in cartoons. These are supposed to be real-life extraterrestrials, who for reasons unknown, like to whisk people away in their spaceships for a little joyride.

Now, I know what you're thinking, this all sounds a little out there. But let me tell you, there are some folks out there who take the idea of alien abductions very seriously. They'll tell you all sorts of tales about being floated up into the air, probed in various unmentionable places, and then returned back to their beds with no memory of what just happened. I mean, talk about your wild ride!

But here's the thing, there's no concrete evidence that any of this is actually happening. Sure, there are some blurry photos, and folks with tales that sound straight out of an X-Files episode, but nothing that's been verified. And yet, the belief in alien abductions continues to persist. Maybe it's because people like the idea of the unknown and mysterious. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because people like to make up wild stories to explain why they're late for work. Regardless of the reason, the idea of alien abductions will continue to be a topic of fascination and speculation for generations to come.