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January 17, 2023

BUT IT WAS AN ASSAULT STAPLER

Florida man tries robbing Publix with stapler, police say

(Thanks to Ralph)

Comments

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Well, their subs are pretty damn good. I've been "hangry" enough to try something as idiotic as this.

I once knew somebody that ate staples.

He said he just wanted to get his sh!t together.

When staplers are outlawed only the outlaws will have staplers!

He was using the wrong office equipment. He should have had a fountain pen with sulfuric acid in it.

In his defense it HAS to be more effective than trying to rob it with a paperclip.

A gub is the better weapon to use.

Using a three-hole punch would have meant the death penalty.

That was easy.

What Burt said.

So if the guy walked into Staples and demanded all their cash...? Imagine they would say something like "Using our founder to rob us?" Or maybe they would have just handed the guy a box of new staples - "Here, sir, this should get you back on the road."

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