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January 19, 2023


2 asteroids the size of 22 penguins to pass Earth this weekend

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who asks "How many penguins in a refrigerator?")


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Whatever happened to the African Swallow standard?

NASA will not send a manned mission to explore Uranus because it would take 15 years to travel the 1.8 billion miles.

They're afraid that the astronauts would develop severe asteroids from sitting that long.

How many penguins equal a football field?

Washing machines! What happened to washing machines?

How many penguins per giraffe?

22 penguins sounds about right, give or take an armadillo.

Why are the asteroids wearing tuxedos?

@BN: Only as many as can fit on the ice shelf.

They were traveling at 18,000 Scaramuccis per hour.

America will never tolerate a foreign ruler.

Emperor, Adelie or Humboldt?

On her day off, Robin took a trip to the zoo. She drove an average speed of 19,944 kilometers per hour, and it took her two-and-a-half hours to get from her house to the zoo. How many penguins is the zoo from her house?

As a scientist, I will step in to clear up the unit type confusion. The correct unit of measure is the

Penguin-Furlong per

Han Solo made the Kessel Run in less than 6,833 penguins."

To convert it into a standard unit of measure:
22 Penguins = 48 Bananas.

Just maybe the asteroids will collide in a breathtaking horizon-spanning, penguin-spangled ....um, excuse me, meds time; can't miss them again.

Bet it weighs a shizzton.

How does that convert into wieght and volume?

One of the objects has crash landed...

A quick clarification, por favor. If Allen is at Division then you might have worked in the same Mathematics Factory as my father. My father used to tell me he worked in the Calculus Division at the Mathematics Factory. He said that they never had any problem with Integration of any employees and they even had a special shop that was a Derivative of the Integration shop. He also said there was a Division Division where they figured out how to divide by zero and the gov't made their work all classified after that. I was going to ask him if they ever investigated the phenomena of people showing up in old photos or paintings using a cell phone or apparently talking into something that looks like a phone. He said there are some clowns at work that love to mess up old photos like that by planting these curious things in old paintings and such. You should hear some of the stories about his work buddies pranking Wikipedia entries.

Since when do they have penguins in Jerusalem?

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