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January 22, 2023


The Nottinghamshire Football Association are investigating a claim that a Sunday League player inserted a ‘finger or multiple fingers’ into the anus of an opponent during a match.

(Thanks to pharmaross)


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Finger(s) Into Anus Soundtrack...

Well, if it doesn't pass the smell test... PS What does the rule book say in reference to this?

On the plus side, that guy with the new gun site has a perfect aibi.

@wannabe proctologist

That would be a holding call by an interior lineman in American football.

In soccer, that's improper use of two digits in an anus or a double colon error.

Isn't that the opposite of being gobsmacked??

That can happen when you're running a little behind.

The Blog recently reported the over half the English don’t know where the rectum is located. Maybe the player doing the fingering is trying to find one.

You can guess what color card the ref would issue for that one.

Perhaps the gentleman thought he was playing golf and was shooting for a hole-in-one on the back nine. It would be The Story of Bugger Vance.

This is no different than the Florida Highway Patrol stopping all cars with out-of-state plates headed across the state line and cavity searching the occupants. They are trying to stop the illegal smuggling of iguanas.

Reminds me of Pugs in Uranus.

I'm for anything that will make soccer more exciting.

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