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January 16, 2023

'ALPHABETISM'

Results show that those whose last names fell earlier in the alphabet were notably more likely to be viewed in a more positive light by their teachers.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Comments

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So, Dave .. are you tooting your own horn?

If Dave's last name was Zarry, there would be NO Pulitzer Prize!!!

Hell, only $3,000. measly bucks for winning a Pulitzer Prize in 1988.

How many beetleburgers does that buy you???

Does this still hold true with the cyrillic alphabet?

Well, duh. The earlier in the alphabet, the smarter you are (except for those "A" people, of course).

Anyone else notice the last name of the guy who did this "study" begins with a Z? Sounds like he has some other personal issues to work out.

Somebody should let Julia Roberts know.

Just look at what happened to people with their last name starting with 'Z'...

Have an idea on how to boost your prestige to be able to support the point of this article. DB why don't you do sponsor a competition where the robot cat litter machines have a fight it out on tv? Seems nobody has taken up that yet.

The real reward of winning a prestigious Pulitzer Prize, are the ongoing invitations to speak at high profile events in world-class settings like this...

If we want to attend the free Pavilion Lawn talk, do we have to mow it???

"Funny man Dave Barry, a Miami humor columnist who has kept Writers Conference attendees in stitches in the past, will tell what it’s actually like to actually live in Florida."

After recent events in Idaho, Dave may want to rethink the part about keeping attendees in stitches.

When I taught 6th grade fresh out of college back in the dark ages, in my first school classes were divided alphabetically. I got all the kids with last names from S to Z. Since it was an upstate NY town that still retained its Dutch settlement influence, about a third of the class had last names starting with "V": van or vander something. I don't recall being particularly more favorable to the "S" and "T" kids, and I don't recall any starting with "U" or "X." I suspect less than a ten letter gap may not be significant.

P.S. Dave...

You may also want to refrain from talking about 'your body of work' at the Widaho conference.

Also about people 'dying to get into the business.'

And talking about the 'plots' of your novels.

Other literary terms to avoid:

'dead giveaway'

no references to 'cryptocurrency'

'dead serious'

'dead ends'

'digging' anything

the word 'di-a-betic'

'bucket list'

'grabbing a cold one' after your presentation

I can't question their science.

I would say that this announcement is a slap in the face. You are cast as a 'hum0rist' by renowned and august agencies, but these clowns refer to you as a 'funny man'. Has the cache of them hiring a local comedian to open for somebody I have never heard of. But one question - isn't the phrase 'funny man' supposed to be 'funny-man'? And the prices they are demanding for tickets - are you getting a cut on all this?

I don't think I want to participate in "intimate breakout sessions with authors" at the Widaho conference.

What exactly is causing their intimate breakouts? S.T.D.s, a fungus? Some kind of rash or allergies? Maybe just simple chafing?

Will the authors be taking "IT" out during their intimate breakout sessions?

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