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January 23, 2023

A REMINDER ABOUT POLITICS

Dear Commenters --

This is a humor blog. We don't do partisan politics here. Even if you're commenting in what you believe to be an amusing manner, if you're attacking one particular political party or viewpoint, this is the wrong site for you; please choose one of the several billion other sites where people go to argue about politics. That's not why people come here.

We don't want to have to delete comments or close posts to comments. Please don't make us.

Thanks. 

Comments

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Have a nice day.


The blog is happy ❤ together!!!

And thank you, Dave.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Also, thank you.

Well, sure the rent is too damn high but can't all y'all of us just get along? P.S. Has anyone heard anything of Vernon Love Supreme (the rubber boot hat guy)? He's my suggestion for Dave's running mate in 2024, speaking of not speaking of politics.

Dave Barry for Preside... oh, never mind.

Don't blame me, *I* voted for Kodos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlcngdW2Ju4

I liked the opening of Dave's 2022 Year In Review...

"The best thing we can say about 2022 is: It could have been worse.

For example, we could have had nuclear Armageddon. This briefly appeared to be a possibility, at least according to the president, who broke the news in October at (Why not?) a Democratic Party fundraiser at the home of a wealthy donor in New York City. That must have been an exciting event! One moment everybody’s standing around chewing hors d’ oeuvres, and the next moment WHOA WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?

The next day, after the news media ran a bunch of scary headlines, the White House Office of Explaining What the President Actually Meant explained that the president wasn’t suggesting that we were facing Armageddon per se, but was merely, as is his wont, emitting words, one of which happened to be “Armageddon,” and everybody should just calm down.

So we dodged a bullet there."

Thank you Dave.

The second comment down explains everything in case you have never seen the movie.


Since when did this become a humor blog?

Thanks Dave, for being the filter for those who won’t filter themselves.

(That of course if Vermin Love Supreme)

More Dave gems...

"On the economic front, inflation continues to get worse despite intensified efforts by the Biden administration to have the president read teleprompter statements about it between trips to Delaware."

"In economic news, Americans grow increasingly alarmed as the price of a gallon of gasoline and the value of the average 401(k) plan rapidly converge from opposite directions. For its part, the White House is growing increasingly irritated by the way people keep whining about soaring inflation and the collapsing stock market and the possibility of a recession while ignoring all the positive economic accomplishments that the Biden administration has achieved despite the efforts of Vladimir Putin, who — WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP FORGETTING THIS — is the cause of everything bad."

"…President Biden, on an official visit to the Middle East, is widely criticized for fist-bumping with Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman, an alleged human-rights violator who is believed to have ordered the murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi. Responding to the criticism, the White House press office explains that the president “thought it was a different Saudi crown prince Mohammed bin Salman.”

"President Biden also announces a massive new program to forgive hundreds of billions of dollars in student-loan debt. Also everybody who failed college chemistry will get bumped up to a B-plus. As is so often the case with massive government programs, this is popular with the people who will benefit from it and unpopular with the people who will pay for it."

All balanced by an qual number of zingers targeting those on the right.

One of the best year-end recaps ever!

I agree about no politics here, it's a refreshing change
(even though the term "weird politics" is redundant).

If I ever run for office, I’ll promise an asteroid size whale penis in every pot. And hopefully that’ll keep me in retirement.

@Jim Makes one wonder what two things you're gonna promise to put in every garage.

@cfjk

Certainly NOT classified documents!

Dear A Blog Fan --
Yes, my Year in Review involves commenting on politics, and I try to do so in a balanced manner. But this blog is not the Year in Review. This blog, as I've been pointing out, is a non-political humor blog. People like it in part because we DON'T do politics here.
I hope that clears things up.
Dave

@cfjk: If I were to win an election, I can promise for every garage and basement apartment one gobsmacked teenage or young adult dependent each.

I think about reading Dave's new book most every day. I feel like a kid for asking, "how long before we get there?" Also, "I'm bored."

I’m assuming we can still point out politicians who have names we are not making fun of, right?

To cope with my boredom, I'd like to mention the time a very sexy young sales rep went into the dark room closet with me, then we shut the door so no light would get in to test some equipment. We bought some stuff, but no need to keep bringing it up after all these years.. Just makes me tired. Not disinterested, just fatigued. I am expecting some lab results regarding the throbbing pain in my foot. When I think of shock treatment and the needle sticking in my nerve during the test I am more grateful than ever to be bored as opposed to thinking about the pain.

@Jim Certainly an improvement over keeping chickens in your garage 'cuz that can get kinda messy too, although given student loans & the current price of eggs...

This bald eagle laid two eggs just over a week or so ago. A live shot of her caring for her eggs. Her partner will likely show up at some point with a large fish. There will likely be baby eagles around the first of the month.

Please reconsider your stance on politics, because of the chilling effect it will have on our struggle to defend our God-given civil rights from continued attacks by the squirrels.

Dear Dave, still a bit confused, so clearly, we don't do politics here, but are you saying that we still don't also don't do politicians here, no matter HOW cute they are?

In keeping with the blog's strict policies, I'll try to refrain from forwarding article submissions about Wyoming State Senator Brian Boner.

Thank you Dave. We love this Blog, and appreciate you taking time to come up with headlines that make us laugh out loud. That is pretty cool and, if we may also say, it is pretty darn nice of you. We suspect there's a massive fan club of folks around the world who, like us, cherish this Blog and are grateful for the much-needed respite it provides from political content.

Thank you, Dave.

My, a lengthy thread...

Stirring the pot sure triggers internet clicks, which drives ad revenue.

The Miami Herald appreciates your viewership and business.

One of the many good things about this blog, no lack of the display of raw talent.

What's the birth date span for the Revenue Generation, (a term I'm not familar with).

Take this!

Carthago Delenda Est!!!!

@david puddy

The Revenue Generation came to the forefront with the recently proposed hiring of 87,000 new I.R.S. agents, but we better not go there.

@Cato

Mordeo ego!

All in favor say aye. Or eye. Or even I, if you're into that whole brevity thing.

I only come here for the exploding toilets and whales. Also, Austraaaliaaaa!

Oh man, somebody got us in trouble. :-(

I'm an independent with centrist views and have enjoyed Dave's award winning work for many years.

Somebody right of center tweaked the button of a fan club narcissistic sycophant, and all hell breaks loose with a wokeism, left liberal smoke out. Further evidence of censorship of anyone expressing a right of center political humor post from fly-over country.

Prozac Nation prevails and heaven help us for trying to laugh at the corrupt officials steering the ship. Maybe they need to talk like pirates and it won't be as bad. Aaargh!

The ratings of late night Carson wannabees is the real barometer of the pulse of the people... and they're sinking fast.

I respect Dave's policing and editorial control of HIS blog. There are damn few places to go for balanced political humor anymore, just partisan parrots across the media spectrum.

Thanks, Dave for attempting to keep us from wandering off into the weeds.

We need to be focused on smokin' the weeds, Dude!

All this attention bodes well for the release of Swamp Story on May 2nd, 2023...

I've been here on Katy's blog all thee years and just now realized she must know Dave. He's a guest here or something? I LUV U Katy Perry.

Thanks Dave for the uplifting thread to start the week.

So Dave, we all look forward to seeing how you replace "Send this [insert moron noun] to CONGRESS."

Dave, thank you. Your blog should never be a toxic thing to read.

The song is "Send in the Clowns", not "Send in the Trolls".

Seems to be a trend in Florida...

What’s the record for number of comments? Must be approaching the magic number… the comments are where the fun is I think we can all agree on that.

@billvt - I looked, and found one thread that had 383 comments ... I'm sure we've gone way beyond that.

The record number of comments is 647 penguins. Or 86,439 pugs.

Mucho thanko, Dave.

Barry won a Pulitzer Prize for Commentary in 1988 for "his consistently effective use of humor as a device for presenting fresh insights into serious concerns."

In this day and age, American politics is no longer a serious concern worthy of mention in a humorous blog, by blog readers and commenters.

Given the interest in humorous political commentary, why not designate one day a week, like a slow news Saturday, for a political free-for-all open forum?

There is certainly no shortage of material out there. Gutfeld has the #1 rated late night show which is a big exclamation point.

THANK YOU!

Anyone who wants to make political comments has no shortage of places to do so. This isn't one of them.

Comments 3768 I LUV U Katy.

Politicians are like diapers, they need to be changed often, and for the same reasons.”
-Mark Twain

What hypocrisy. Fair and balanced freedom of expression?

A former newspaper reporter turned columnist that wins a Pulitzer Prize for using humor to bring fresh insights into serious concerns. And he allows liberals to shout down anyone with a centrist or right leaning humorous comment. It's ok to be a humorous candidate for President and out politicians for absurd positions and behavior in an annual review, but the blog is some sanctimonious venue devoid of freedom of humorous political expression by readers. The last Presidential election showed how the left teamed up with mass media moguls to stifle freedom of speech. Sadly, I didn't think I'd see the same tactics in a blog of a Pulitzer Prize winning columnist whose award was based on using humor to shed light on serious issues like politics.

Let the left leaning vitriol commence against anyone that is an advocate of free speech in America.

Our nations ideals elucidated by the framers of the Constitution are under attack, as are its symbols (statues) and borders. And citizens are prohibited from making humorous political comments about the morally bankrupt and corrupt administration responsible for it all as they line their pockets.

Puhleeze lose the laughs and get serious.

Mr. Barry,

How did you feel when someone pulled a fire alarm and shut down your humorous comments (albeit temporarily), at a public speaking event?

Any sewage lift stations without a name, that will be opening soon in Florida?

I am REALLY curious about what was said.

As others have noted, this is Dave's blog and most of us come here to get away from the political BS; thus, Dave made the right decision.

It's sad that the political environment has changed so much.

In 2000, a friend and I wrote an Internet political satire column. We couldn't publish those columns today -- although that's mostly because no one remembers George W. Bush, Al Gore, Dick Cheney, Mel Carnahan, John Hagelin, Pat Buchanan, Hanging Chads, or Butterfly Ballots. Come to think about it, anyone who remembers those people (and objects) probably prefers to forget about them. Most columns wrote themselves although I took credit.

I still like my column in which the Republican and Democratic parties traded candidates -- and no one noticed.

What are politicians for, if not to entertain us?

This has degenerated into incivility.

All joking aside... I think the balance we're hoping to find here is one where we can make light of the foibles of human nature and the absurdities of modern life, but without targeting any one political tribe for character assassination or blame. This is a balance where we respect the fact that there is quite a range of political persuasions represented among us, but that none of us are here to prosecute any one of them with which we happen to disagree.

@Jim So more succinctly put, they're all crooked and deserving of ridicule. P.S. Careful, those kind of speeches have gotten far lesser men elected to public office. Just remember my motto "If nominated I will not run, if elected I will not serve..." (the public but only my own interests by grabbing as much cash as is available to be grabbed).

THANK YOU DAVE!!! We are in desperate need of politics-free zones!!!

@Lynn W

That would be located in North Korea.

I like the give and take, back and forth of a good political scrap or debate. Sometimes a divergent point is made from my point of view, and it makes me stop and think, reshaping my opinion.

Johnny Carson's barbs about Gary Hart & Donna Rice reshaped a Presidential election campaign. I find the lack of balanced reporting by major news networks regarding the current administration sadly lacking. We need more aggressive media watchdogs like the A.P.s Helen Thomas or even ABCs Sam Donaldson, that refused to let politicos stonewall.

The shape of Florida politics is rapidly transforming as refugees from blue states move here en masse. Miami Dade went red in the last Presidential election. To the victor go the spoils... but don't spoil Dave's blog.

I read this blog every day, have for years, but this past year I stopped reading the comments...for me the only humor here is Dave's and Dave's alone... his headline intros to the posts, that's what makes me laugh. I don't see here any ads, pop ups, revenue sources at all, so AFAIK Dave's doing all this gratis for our enjoyment. Then today I read some of these awful comments...I'm fine with him nixing all the comments going forward...I come here for Dave because he's funnier than anybody and I thank him.

Elon Musk taking over Twitter has exposed the biased, left leaning slant of Democrats and their underhanded partnerships with major media platforms.

There's been a concerted effort to shut down middle of the road and the conservative school of thought in our democracy.

Now that they have been exposed, the left are whining like never before as House Republicans take control and begin their investigations into D.C. corruption.

Stay above the fray Dave and keep public discourse evenly represented right down the middle. There are extremists on both sides of the aisle.

Not to worry Clio, as we don't think that you're that funny either. To quote Craig Fergusen: "That's Rascist. You're a rascist, man!"

Jane, you ignorant slut...

There's an old saying that behind every succesful man there's a warm, loving, supportive woman dedicated to her man. But you wouldn't know anything about that because there is no old saying about what's behind a miserable old loser.

Sadly, the blog has been recalcitrant in reporting on this major breaking news story with social consequences...

Unfortunately, Dave, your admonition does not appear to have been completely effective. I think you might be better off with the threat my mom always made: “If you kids don’t stop fighting this minute, I’m going to turn this car right around, and nobody gets ice cream!” Worked every time.

Your readers uncover very funny stories and your headlines and comments are hilarious.

But you've lost any shred of a fair balanced, ethical, credible journalist with your left leaning selective editing of centrist and conservative contributor comments.

Good luck with your next novel that the publisher is apparently giving away, in order to cultivate an email spamming marketing list.

You're extremely talented but your political bias is overtly bleeding through for perceptive readers to plainly see.

@Moving On: Everybody's funny. Now you're funny too.

I come here for three reasons:

1. To laugh at Dave's stories.

2. To laugh even more at your non-political comments.

3. To get slapped by NurseCindy, as she's really good at that!

Thank you.

Yes, thank you Dave.

*SMACKS* PirateBoy. You're one of my favorites.

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