Dave Barry's Blog

ADVISORY: WE HAVE A NEW MEASUREMENT UNIT

An asteroid the size of a delivery truck

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

WITHOUT THE TECHNOLOGICAL MIRACLE THAT IS THE INTERNET, WE MIGHT NEVER HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THIS

Woman urges people to rub their earlobes after discovering hers smells

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER…

...for Stowaway Gecko.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Flamingo escapes British zoo, flies over nearby farm

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "When it’s a S L O W news day in England.")

FLORIDA SENIORS: THEY'RE NOT JUST PLAYING SHUFFLEBOARD ANY MORE

Intoxicated 81-year-old woman kicks officer ‘full force’ in groin, Florida cops say

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS

6 doctors swallowed Lego heads for science. Here's what came out

Researchers then measured the time it took for the gulped Lego heads to be passed. The time interval was given a Found and Retrieved Time (FART) score.

(Thanks to MOTW)

ATTENTION JOBSEEKERS

Planters searches for next class of Peanutters to drive the Nutmobile

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

SPEAKING OF VEHICLES THAT BELONG ON THE ROADS OF FLORIDA

…this souped-up SUV boasts bulletproof glass, blinding strobe lights, electrified doorhandles, and wing mirrors that can shoot pepper spray – handy for putting those pesky cyclists in their place.

(Thanks to Ralph)

It would have been handy here:

A Florida road-rage incident took a strange turn when a motorcyclist began punching and head-butting the other driver’s vehicle, according to the Hernando County Sheriff’s Office. The teenager then shot at the vehicle, the sheriff’s office said in a news release.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

AND IN MOTOR SPORTS

A reverse auto rickshaw driving competition was organised in the Sangli district of Maharashtra on Tuesday.

(Thanks to Ralph)

They’d fit right in on I-95 in Miami.

THE 18-YEAR-OLD MIGHT OBJECT

Tech mogul Bryan Johnson, 45, ‘spends $2 million per year to get 18-year-old body’

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)