Dave Barry's Blog

ASTEROID MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

Now: Pugs.

(Thanks to Barry Nester, who says "22 penguins = 100 pugs")

MIAMI WILDLIFE UPDATE

We think the bird is a heron. The other wildlife unit is either an iguana or a squirrel wearing an iguana costume.

 

 

Update from Suzie Q Wacvet:

YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE

Pet fish commits credit card fraud on owner using a Nintendo Switch

(Thanks to Ralph)

EVIDENTLY FLORIDIANS ARE VISITING TEXAS

Somehow, a van landed atop two vehicles in a mall parking lot in El Paso, Texas.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS

The Nottinghamshire Football Association are investigating a claim that a Sunday League player inserted a ‘finger or multiple fingers’ into the anus of an opponent during a match.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

3:42 p.m. While putting a new sight on his gun, a man accidentally shot off his finger. His wife refused to drive him to the hospital, as she had the flu and was staying in bed.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

TODAY IN GOBSMACKERY

Teacher gobsmacked after parent gives identical twins near-identical names

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

'THE MYSTERY IS TEARING THE COMMUNITY APART'

For the past year, Waiheke Island residents have been finding single sausages, wrapped in bread, left in their letterboxes.

(Thanks to Andrew Simmons and Ralph)