THE ESCALATING EPIDEMIC OF GOBSMACKEDNESS CONTINUES TO ESCALATE
One woman was left gobsmacked after coming across a huge carrot while shopping in Devon
(Thanks to John Lobert)
Imagine being the Daily Mirror staffer who had to write this story. You go into journalism thinking you're going to change the world. You wind up with an editor telling you, "Freddie, a woman on the Internet bought a large carrot!"
The other story on that page "Dad with 'Santa-phobia' is 'terrified of putting up Christmas decorations'"
The guy is suffering from claus-trophobia.
Posted by: Steverino | December 01, 2022 at 01:53 PM
Carrot. Just wait til the break out the story of the giant booger. Dave Barry reporting. Yes I am fully qualified report this story - I wrote the book on this subject. "Dave Barry here on the street reporting on a giant booger that this many sneezed out of his nose and immediately sucked it back in. Details tonight on the 10 pm news.
Posted by: Captain11 | December 01, 2022 at 01:56 PM
All I saw was the arm and hand of someone holding a huge carrot. I think we still need some verifiable proof of gobsmackedness. And no fuzzy photos either!
Posted by: Jim | December 01, 2022 at 01:59 PM
If she's gobamacked by the carrot, just wait until they break out the big stick!
Posted by: cfjk | December 01, 2022 at 02:19 PM
Not to worry, the gerbils will make short work of it.
Posted by: David Puddy | December 01, 2022 at 02:21 PM
I think the Danish man *GOBSMACKED* more people after he took his giant "carrot" out.
Posted by: Wascally Wabbit | December 01, 2022 at 02:28 PM
I don't carrot all about this kind of "news."
Posted by: Ralph | December 01, 2022 at 03:04 PM
But, dammit, inquiring minds want to know: did that carrot have a valid Florida driver's license????
Posted by: Gary D. | December 01, 2022 at 03:41 PM
@Ralph
I yam tired of your whining.
It's time to turnip the volume to drown out your complaints.
If we dug deeper into your psyche, we'd likely find you had a taro-bull childhood.
Obviously root vegetable humor doesn't float your boat cuz it leeks.
You sound like a square root.
Are you a complaining couch potato?
I like root vegetable jokes. You can't beet'em!
Posted by: Ruta Bagas | December 01, 2022 at 04:14 PM
Just out of curiosity, what’s the radio of fruitcake Christmas gifts to general gobsmackedness in a given population?
Asking for a friend.
Posted by: Daily Mirror reader | December 01, 2022 at 04:23 PM
Better gobsmacked than befuddled.
Posted by: Lucky Jack | December 01, 2022 at 05:28 PM
" This word comes from Irish and Scottish Gaelic. It still pops up in other places in British slang – for example, “shut your gob!” If you say that you were “gobsmacked,” it means that you were so surprised or astonished, it was as though someone had smacked you in the mouth."
Posted by: Clankie | December 01, 2022 at 07:27 PM
How about if a Florida python swallowed this carrot whole? It would make major ridicule on the DBblog. It's this kind of story that keeps the gears and wheels of this blog spinning. Onward to Pulitzer Prize 2022 - but first a refreshing glass of carrot juice.
Posted by: Captain11 | December 01, 2022 at 09:36 PM
Someone once hit me in the face with an ear of corn. I was cobbsmacked.
Posted by: Farmer Jones | December 02, 2022 at 06:13 AM
I once kicked someone in the groin and they was knobsacked & cracked.
Posted by: Elaine Benes | December 02, 2022 at 09:52 AM
Even worse: "Freddie! Someone's been gobsmacked!"
Posted by: wanderer2575 | December 02, 2022 at 12:23 PM
Dave Barry claimed he was gobsmacked
He got fired and was jobsmacked
He started a blog, and along with his dog
And now hosts nuts who are allwacked
I am working on that last line. Any suggestions?
Posted by: Captain11 | December 02, 2022 at 03:26 PM
@Captain11: "All wacked" is two words. Otherwise, perfect!
Posted by: wanderer2575 | December 02, 2022 at 06:21 PM
Thanks muchly to wanderer2575 for the very insightful suggestions. I have fussed over this since previous publication and would like a do over:
Dave Barry cried that he was gobsmacked
He got fired and he was job-sacked
He started a blog, and along with his dog
And now he hosts nuts who are all-whacked.
His work is all ghosted by Judi
He says that is her sole duty
But she has her eyes
On her own Pulitzer Prize
And he has his eyes on her booty
So rooty toot tooty
Let's hear it for Judi
Her prose is not dense
Or never past tense
She's just doing her dooty
Posted by: Captain11 | December 02, 2022 at 07:39 PM