Dave Barry's Blog

GO FIGURE

‘A dud’: European Union’s $500,000 metaverse party attracts six guests

The event, with its own virtual DJs playing music on repeat, was supposed to be so digitally enticing to young people that once they were there the EU would be able to educate them about its development policy.

Nothing excites youths like a chance to listen to virtual DJs while being educated on development policy!

(Thanks to John Lobert)

CLEARLY THIS SITUATION CALLS FOR NUCLEAR WEAPONS, ASSUMING CANADA HAS SOME

Banff struggling to manage Columbian ground squirrels in cemeteries

(Thanks to Nigel Grout)

AND IN SPORTS

Mississippi golfer bites off man's nose in argument over game, police say

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

A PARABLE FOR OUR TIMES

Missionary carrying a cross on his shoulder during 5,000-miles walk across America is arrested for getting into a fist fight with Montana motorist who 'threatened to shoot him'

(Thanks to Geoff Scott)

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

6:27 p.m. A man who was hit by a truck called 911 and said “Help, I need a beer.”

(Thanks to pharmaross and Roberto)

ATTENTION HOLIDAY SHOPPERS

Elvis Presley’s Private Jet Is up for Sale, and the Original Red-Velvet Seats Are Still There

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

And don’t overlook this.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING ETC.

‘Reckless driver’ turns out to be dog behind wheel in Texas crash

(Thanks to Alan Dean)

WE WILL BE BITTERLY DISAPPOINTED IF THIS DOES NOT BECOME A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Man Who Fell Off Cruise Ship After Winning Air Guitar Contest Can’t Recall Event, Claims He Fought Off Sea Creatures: ‘The Lord Was With Me’

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)