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November 29, 2022

WAIT... IS THAT WRONG?

Ohio lawyer is accused of tossing poop-filled Pringles can into parking lot of victims advocacy center

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Comments

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Alledgedly! Presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law, but nowhere in the Constitution does it mention Pringles cans.

Fine print on the can: No deposit, no return

Has anybody checked the can for gerbils?

His prossecutorial specialty. Defecation of character.

How do they know, as asserted in the article, that it was HIS feces?

Though pooping into a Pringles can is a rare skill, I suspect. The available target area of a conventional loo is take from the area of an elipse, or A= pi ab, where a and be are the short and long radii of the elipse, or approximately 110 square inches. A Pringles can opening area is given by A= pi times the square of the radius, or 7 square inches. Therefore, pooping into a Pringles can is approximately 110/7 or 15.7 times the difficulty of pooping in a conventional toilet. If the execution of this execration is "clean", the higher degree of difficulty will definitely be awarded more points by the judges, though perhaps not the by the judge assigned to this case.

2

Attorneys are trained to throw enough "**it" against a wall and hope that some of it sticks.

I think a professional opinion is called for here - call for nursecindy. Seems feasible that a Pringle can would be ideal since it is a hollow cylinder and the offending turd is a solid cylinder. Perhaps taking it back to the store. May I speak to the store manager? Yes. I bought this can of Pringles here and look what was in the can. "No shit." Or should that be "No, shit."

@Michael - I am so glad you are here to walk us through the intricacies of this hitherto little-understood scoring system. I feel the way I did last night when I watched a video that finally explained to me the formerly-mysterious knitting technique known as intarsia.

Judging from your usage of the word loo, I expect you also harbor expertise in the field of World Cup Football. What are Japan’s chances, having beaten Germany but lost to Costa Rica? Do we have a prayer against Spain?

Is that their latest flavor? Poop-filled Pringles? I'll pass.

Now there's a fetish for ya.

BTW, I saw Poop-Filled Pringles Can open for the Bangles.

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