THE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE
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November 29, 2022
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Dave, apparently the Three Wise Guys disliked squirrels just as much as you do.
Posted by: GJ | November 29, 2022 at 01:51 PM
In Dave's defense, he IS in the pool.
Posted by: Elaine Benes | November 29, 2022 at 01:53 PM
On the plus side, the list doesn't include a gift certificate for an extended warranty.
Posted by: cfjk | November 29, 2022 at 01:55 PM
Brilliant! Who wouldn't be impressed by the winner of the Nobel Prize for Cutlery? I know I want those finger chopsticks.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | November 29, 2022 at 02:59 PM
It is not possible to expresses the spiritual gift of not giving any better.
Posted by: man tom | November 29, 2022 at 03:30 PM
It's all fun and games until someone pokes their eyes out with those chopsticks.
Posted by: Steve (The 24 Guy) | November 29, 2022 at 03:34 PM
Dear Santa,
Thanks for suggesting the swim trunks. Daddy will be up for parole in 2027.
Posted by: man tom | November 29, 2022 at 03:40 PM
A Yoga Jane I know will certainly appreciate a gift of some Yoga Joes.
Posted by: Jim | November 29, 2022 at 03:45 PM
My eyes were filled with tears of laughter while reading this: "Who doesn’t love a fun toilet prank that potentially could cause heart failure?"
Thanks! I needed that.
Posted by: Static Joeage | November 29, 2022 at 04:04 PM
My Christmas shopping is now done!
Posted by: nursecindy | November 29, 2022 at 04:17 PM
My order for the disintegrating swimsuit is in!
Posted by: Donald Trump | November 29, 2022 at 04:51 PM
The problem with the Pop-Up Snake Toilet Prank is that guys have to put the lid down to begin with.
Posted by: wanderer2575 | November 29, 2022 at 05:40 PM
It's not just the gifts, but the writing. Tears of laughter in my eyes for Yoga Joes .. especially since a grandson seems to have a game controller glued to his hands.
Thanks, Dave.
Posted by: MOTW | November 29, 2022 at 06:20 PM
Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like an Exorcist Action Figure.
Batteries and green pea soup vomit not included.
Posted by: pharmaross | November 29, 2022 at 06:49 PM
Sorry Dave, once again I am blocked from enjoying your work because I don't subscribe to AD's. I have NEVER purchased anything from an AD without doing research on the product. Hence, the AD blocker.
Posted by: ImNotDave | November 29, 2022 at 08:16 PM
So this is what Secret Santa is all about.
Posted by: Captain11 | November 29, 2022 at 10:11 PM
Hookers and Blow Save Christmas
Posted by: Bad Santa | November 29, 2022 at 11:15 PM
It's a good time to invest in the disintegrating swimsuit company since we're in a bare market on Wall Street.
Posted by: Mulva | November 30, 2022 at 02:12 AM
I remember when a local newspaper photographer tended to be an old guy with a weird sense of humor, wearing a tweed newsboy hat and a vest full of pockets. Apparently there has been a pronounced increase in the hubba-hubba quotient for that career field.
Posted by: ripleysparrow | November 30, 2022 at 08:29 AM
Yay! I made it in life. I was mentioned in a Dave Barry article. I can now die in peace.
Posted by: Asher Scheiner | November 30, 2022 at 08:36 AM
Wow, Secret Santa, is this list published somewhere else, like YouTube maybe? Really don't want to have to subscribe to the Miami Herald to be able to read this. Looks like a lot of people are having fun but bet there are a lot more that aren't. How's everything in Miami, Harold?
Posted by: Captain11 | November 30, 2022 at 07:06 PM