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November 22, 2022

CENTRAL PARK HAS BATS?

Frigid temperatures have bats falling to the ground in Manhattan’s Central Park, officials said.

(Thanks to Static Joeage, who says "Not the good kind of bat droppings.")

(There's a good kind of bat droppings?)

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You guano go check it out, Dave?

Start spreading the news
bats are fallin' from the trees today
I want to be a part of it
New York, New York

*I know nothing about NY. The closest I ever came was Newark, N.J. I spent one afternoon there. I did not understand a thing anyone said. Really, I could not for the life of me make out what anyone was saying due to the accent. They could have been saying, "this is a real gun, the most powerful handgun in the world, give me your wallet," and I would have had no idea I was about to be killed.

The guy I was traveling with asked if I wanted to cross over the bridge into N.Y. a short distance away and pick up a 'load'. I said, if I remember correctly, are you phuggin kidding...let's get otta here!"

Writer's embellishment,

I was in a really, really bad part of Newark. The fact I am still here is one of those many wonders of the world. The ancient one.

I had a co-worker from NJ, man tom. I overheard him telling a story about Nork. I listened and he said it again .. Nork. So I asked him, what the heck is Nork? He reply was almost like Fred Gwynne in My Cousin Vinnie: Oh, I'm sorry. Let me enunciate that better for your Texan ears: NEW-wark.

na-na, na-na, na-na, na-na, Bat Drop

Regarding my memories of mostly the 60's and N.Y. This is probably too long, but hopefully a fun-filled literary experience for you all reading it.

During the Korean War my father and two of his seven brothers served. His five sisters did not serve. My Dad was on or near the 38th parallel, many nights north of it, for one year with the 1st Marine Division biding his time in combat. His younger brother was stationed in Germany in the Army and wrote my Dad saying He was trying for a transfer to where my dad was in Korea. My Dad wrote back and said, "stay where you are unless you want to killed several times." My Dad's other slightly younger brother was stationed in England.

Well, I was later very close to this brother (uncle) who at the time was stationed in England. He was like a big brother to me when I was growing up. He had met his future wife while stationed there. After the war He moved there and lived there for five years. He decided to come home to find work and make a better living here than was possible for him there. I'll speed up some here so as to enhance your fun-filled literary experience having read this far. My uncle flew home and would await his wife and two kids who would follow later. They did not have the money for them all to fly home. My Dad lent his brother the money to get his family, wife and kids, back home. They came back on the Queen Mary!

My Dad drove my uncle to N.Y in 1960 and they picked up my uncle's wife and kids who arrived from across the Atlantic on the Queen Mary. To make it, I promised, a true fun-filled literary reading experience, they all lived happily ever after.

*The Queen Mary has been docked here is So. CAL since I have lived here. I used to go to a convention near there in sight of the Queen Mary every year for many years. Where I drove by I would look over and see the Queen sitting there and reflect back on the story I have just told.

My aunt from England always reminded me when we talked,
"I changed your diaper when you were a baby." My aunt is well over ninety today and still causing havoc. She looked line Mary Tyler Moore when she was 60 years younger.

MOTW: There is also a Newark in upstate NY. It is pronounced Nerk.

So in NYC it's bats, and in Miami it's iguanas, so finally we have a metric that allows us to clearly determine where we are, exactly, on any given frigid morning.

SO...New Jersey has "Nark", New York has "Nerk", and Louisiana has "Gnarlins"?

My dad was navigating his LST through the Panama Canal in WWII with a guy from Boston. The guy asks my dad, “You want the hahbah chahts?” My dad goes, “The what?” The guy repeats, “The hahbah chahts.” My dad says, “Bring them, and when I know what they are, I’ll tell you if I need them.” The guy came back with the harbor charts.

You know while we are on the subject of dialect and accents I would like very much to share with you an experience I had back in the mid 70's while working a job on a busy postal sorting floor in downtown St. Louis. I had worked there on the busy floor each evening for a couple of years when a young female co-worker I had noticed was making frequent eye contact with me for some time. The eye contact was becoming more obvious and was also becoming more suggestive. She said something to me, after making more expected suggestive eye contact, that I at first didn't understand what she said. She had smiled at me again, like she usually did when we worked near one another. The she looked at me and said, "man tom you ain't never had nun-a-this, you need to come and get 'yasum."

It just took me by surprise. I just stood there like an idiot and tried to collect myself. To this day I ask myself, "you idiot, why didn't you answer her?"

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