Dave Barry's Blog

LOOKING FOR A GIFT FOR THAT HARD-TO-PLEASE HERPETOLOGIST?

Your search is over.

(Thanks to Ralph)

DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS THIS BLOG DID NOT FINISH READING

I'm sorry to hurry you up. I've been waiting for your reply during 8 days.

DO *NOT* PASS GO

Man arrested after family Monopoly game turns violent, Tulsa police say

(Thanks to Alan West, who says "I hope he kept his 'Get Out of Jail Free' card.")

THIS IS THE 376,438TH TIME WE HAVE READ SOME VERSION OF THIS STORY

...and we're still not biting.

(Thanks to Ashe Scheiner)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Oxford scientists crack case of why ketchup splatters from near-empty bottle

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IN THE ARTS

A contemporary pop artist known for transforming The Simpsons in his art says he could take action against Cardi B for recreating his work in a Halloween Instagram post. Italian artist aleXsandro Palombo claims Cardi B was never authorized to use his art for her Oct. 31 post, in which the rapper portrayed Marge Simpson in a dress cut out on the backside to expose her butt cleavage.

(Thanks to Robert Moats)

NOTHING SAYS "'TIS THE SEASON"

...like Caesar salad candy canes.

"With a dash of anchovy."

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)