Dave Barry's Blog

TURKEYS ARE BASICALLY SQUIRRELS WITH FEATHERS

‘Aggressive’ turkeys take over neighbourhood and ‘keep residents trapped in their homes’

(Thanks to Annette)

AND EVERY SINGLE ONE HAS A TINY BUT VALID FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE

Earth has at least 20 quadrillion ants, study finds

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston and Rodney Bertelsen)

AND IN SPORTS

Exec for Vegan Alternative ‘Beyond Meat’ Jailed for Allegedly Biting ‘Flesh’ from Man’s Nose After NCAA Game

(Thanks to The Perts, Doug Ogg, Stan Ruth and Rod Nunley)

WHERE THE HELL IS THE SO-CALLED ‘FEDERAL GOVERNMENT?’

U.S. beer shortage looms with gap in carbon dioxide supply

(Thanks to Ralph, Rich Alpin and Emily, Leslie and w)

DINING IN FUKURUKUJU

The person who took his order immediately lit up, taking great pleasure in saying loudly: “Well, the Big Cock might be tough today. Let me check for you“, before scurrying off to the kitchen. Masanuki looked down at his table, hoping the other diners hadn’t heard their conversation, only to hear the waitstaff calling out to the chef in the kitchen:

“Looks like we have a big cock. Can you handle it?” 

(Thanks to Ralph)