Dave Barry's Blog

THE COMMENTS

They appear to be working again. The problem turned out to be pixellation in the deconfragulation module overclock repatriation valve. We are kicking ourselves for not thinking of this sooner.

But seriously, we have no idea what was wrong, but we DO know who fixed it: judi. Actually she contacted a person named Bert, and HE fixed it. We thank them both, and have rehired judi. We would also rehire Bert, but we don't think he works for us. He is like Batman: He appears just when you need him most, and then he is gone.

Anyway, the comment section is all yours, crazy people.

EVERYBODY GET THE HELL OUT OF CANADA *NOW*

September is when you're most likely to be sent to hospital by a moose in northern B.C., study finds

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SO UNFAIR, DUDE

Cannabis users’ ‘lazy stoner’ stereotype is ‘unfair’: scientists

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

WE WANT TO KNOW WHO CONDUCTED THIS STUDY

Study finds even share of chores makes women want more sex

(Thanks to pharmaross, who says "Where's the vacuum and Windex?")

'WORLD'S FASTEST SHARK?' DO THEY HOLD RACES?

Terrifying moment world's fastest shark leaps out the sea and lands right on a fisherman

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

LIKE, WOOF, DUDE

A B.C. hiker is asking others not to toss the butts of marijuana cigarettes into the woods after his dog ingested an unknown amount of cannabis and had to be packed off a Vancouver Island mountain peak on Saturday.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Heinz is now selling a collection of ketchup-stained clothing

(Thanks to Ralph, who says "Unrefrigerated, of course.")

IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU AND THE CAT ARE FREE TO GO

Moon told the officer she was on her way home from the Shamrock Bar in Leesburg when a cat ran into the road. She said she swerved her vehicle to miss the cat and ended up in the bush. After completing the accident report, the officer asked Moon if she had been drinking. She said she drank four Bud Light beers, two shots of Fireball and one shot of Jagermeister, according to the arrest report.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE OF COURSE LOVE DOLLY. BUT: NO.

Dolly Parton Just Announced Her Own Line Of Pet Apparel, And It Includes Wigs For Dogs

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THERE WERE NO MORE FEEL-GOOD STORIES

Japanese porn star hugs over 3,000 people in 24-hours

(Thanks to Carlos Montage, who says "I must be getting old, because this isn’t how I remembered porn.")

CANADA PLUNGES STILL DEEPER INTO ANARCHY

Winnipeg mayoral candidate gets bike stolen 85 minutes after promising to reduce bike theft Social Sharing

(Thanks to Steve Lodholz)

IT'S THE LAMINATION THAT DOES THE TRICK

NYC to fight gun crime by putting up laminated signs saying: 'No guns'

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

THEY OPENLY ADMITTED TO MONKEYING AROUND

Monkees’ Micky Dolenz sues FBI over ‘secret dossier’ on band

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

MIAMI'S NOT IN THE TOP TEN BECAUSE WE'RE TOO RUDE TO PARTICIPATE IN SURVEYS

The rudest cities in America

(Thanks to man tom)