THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

A Man Allegedly Pulled Out His Penis Then Beat Up A Woman With A Dead Seagull In Germany

(Thanks to pharmaross)

Comments

[man tom]

The reason for the man’s outburst remains unclear at this time, and his reason for exposing himself is also a mystery.

[pharmaross]

A bird in the hand is worth a push in the bush.

[man tom]

Simply amazing! I had that very Paul Rogers Seagull video copied to my mouse ready to link. A song I have played for many years. Similar to this which I have played since 1952 a few years before I was born and many years before Marshall Tucker released the song.

[cfjk]

Why was there a dead seagull attached to the end of his penis, and is this some kind of German holiday tradition like Krampus?

[man tom]

Step into the dark. Since 1952, every song ever written, at some point, uses the key of H if for anything, to sound cool.

*major credit to The Blog for discovering the key of H.

[man tom]

Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
It's not too late
To whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead

[ripleysparrow]

This is why Jason Bourne was more cautious when operating in Germany. You keep your dead seagull double-bagged and only pull it out when absolutely necessary.

[ChrisinVa]

Paging Elain Benes.

[ChrisinVa]

What choice did he have after she did things like this to him:

WHEN WE SAY DO NOT MESS WITH THEM…

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM OR LIVE NEAR SOMEBODY WHO MESSES WITH THEM

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

etc., ad nauseum.

[Elaine Benes]

Once you've seen one dead pecker, you've seen them all.

[Cosmo Kramer]

In his defense, she had flipped him the bird and he was trying to return the favor.

[The Real Barry]

How else would you expect to deal with a woman with a dead seagull in Germany?

[Mike in Dayton]

Germany has become a hellhole of crime with them leaving dead seagulls lying around where any random criminal can easily find one then use it to attack a citizen.