Dave Barry's Blog

UPDATE

Today as part of our ongoing quest to solve the blog-comments problem we went looking for Tech Support in the Widaho wilderness, accompanied by our buddy and sometimes co-author Mr. Ridley Pearson. We did not find any solutions, but we did find a large quantity of Scenery.

The bad news is that we were in Bear Country.

Widaho thoughtfully provides a secure locker where you can store your bear attractants, although we have no idea why the hell anybody would take a bear attractant into Bear Country.

If you ever do encounter a bear, the safest thing you can do is position yourself between the bear and its cub, as we are demonstrating here.

Later on we all went out for beers.

GUYS IN FINANCIAL ACTION

Man Disappears After He Was Accidentally Paid 300x Times His Salary

(Thanks to John Lobert)

UH-OH

Israeli Lunar Lander Accidentally Spilled Tardigrades on the Moon

(Thanks to John Lobert)

OUR FIRST QUESTION IS: WHOSE HOUSE WAS IT?

A YouTuber dropped a $300,000 Mercedes-Benz truck through the roof of a house in a series of extreme stunts designed to test how tough it is

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

AND IN CANADIAN SPORTS

Fans kicked out of Toronto Blue Jays game for allegedly having sex in the stands

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

IT'S CLEARLY ONE OF THOSE, OR AMELIA EARHART. OR SOMETHING ELSE.

Does This Area 51 Image Show A Secret Aircraft Or A Shadow Of A Cloud?

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

TECH SUPPORT

Mr. Barry,

My apologies if somebody already suggested this, but have you tried unplugging the comments and plugging them back in again?

Gerry Studzinski

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL

Officers seize shipment of baby wipes that turned out to be $11.8 million worth of cocaine

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OOPS

Japanese monkey-hunting team shoots woman with tranquilizer dart

(Thanks to Ralph)

'THE POLE-DANCING COMMUNITY IS ACTUALLY VERY SIMILAR TO THE AXE-THROWING COMMUNITY'

Pole-dancing axe thrower wins world title

(Thanks to Allen at Division and Ralph)

THIS TIME IT'S FOR REAL! THERE'S EVEN AN 'ARTIST'S IMPRESSION'!

This £143,000 flying car has been approved for take-off

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

WE'VE SEEN MUCH WORSE

Dog's Pee Resembles A Work Of Art And People Are In Awe

(Thanks to Rick Day)

THE A-LITTLE-TOO-FRIENDLY SKIES

Pilot threatens to turn plane around if passenger continues to AirDrop nudes

(Thanks to Rick Day)

DUDES

More Americans Smoke Weed Than Tobacco, Survey Finds

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

EVERY SINGLE ONE PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Truck spills 150,000 tomatoes causing California crash

(Thanks to Virtual User, who says "We’re going to need more bacon and lettuce.")

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Montrealers celebrate return of the Garlic Festival

(Thanks to EricY)

GOATS ARE CLOSELY RELATED TO SQUIRRELS

Goats climb on Alabama deputy's patrol car, eat paperwork

(Thanks to Rick Day and Ralph)

UPDATE

The comments still aren't working. We tried to start a "help ticket" with Typepad, but we keep getting an error message. That's right: Not only are we unable to fix the problem; we can't even start a "help ticket."

To answer your questions:

-- Yes, we checked all the settings, and they say that the comments are open.

-- Yes, we tried changing the settings, then changing them back.

-- Yes, we tried re-hiring judi and then firing her again.

So we are stumped. At this point, all we can do is pray.

 

SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT

Man paddles 38 miles down the Missouri River in a hollowed-out pumpkin

(Thanks to many people)

DUH

Older patients who consume alcohol regularly report better quality of life before and after surgery

(Thanks to Ann Farr)

SO THOSE ARE TO GO, THEN?

A woman at a McDonald’s in Lewisham, London went viral after grabbing a few hamburgers and stuffing them into her bra during an argument with an employee.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

ALWAYS A SOUND LEGAL STRATEGY

Man farted in police officer's face after being nabbed for shoplifting beer

(Thanks to Ralph)

SEEING IS BELIEVING, PEOPLE

Teen spots 'UFO' after seeing 'flashing' object with a 'black orb' while camping in UK

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "How many more of these photos will people have to see before they stop doubting?")

IT'S A DARNED GOOD THING THIS BLOG HAS A STRICT POLICY

Because otherwise there is a very real danger that we would link to this.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE SHOULD AT LEAST CONSIDER IT

Could Earth Ever Leave Our Solar System?

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

UPDATE

The comments still aren't working. And to make matters worse -- we hate to break the bad news -- THE PEDESTRIAN SCRAMBLE HAS BEEN DECOMISSIONED.

We have no idea what this means, but it sounds bad, and we urge everyone to remain indoors with eyes closed until the crisis passes.

As you may have gathered, this blog is on vacation at a secret remote location code-named "Widaho." But rest assured we will continue to monitor the comments situation, and as soon as we become aware that there has been a change, we will go, quote, "huh." Meanwhile, have a great day!

THE COMMENTS-CLOSED THING IS HAPPENING AGAIN

Fortunately, we know from experience -- often referred to as "past experience," to distinguish it from future experience -- exactly what needs to be done: Hope that it gets better by itself. Also of course judi will be fired.

THEY'RE ESCALATING

Woman plagued by 'horrific' squirrel pack in loft fears rodents will burn down house

(Thanks to Rodney Bertelsen)

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A SMOOTH FLIGHT

Two pilots start FIGHTING in cockpit after one refuses to follow orders as flight attendants move in to split them up

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

WE SAW D.O.G. OPEN FOR SNOOP

Delinquent orca gang launching terrifying assaults on crews of sailors off Brittany

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

BEFORE THE INTERNET, THIS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE

A Raising Cane's restaurant in Illinois that has been dubbed "the loudest bathroom door on Earth" is now becoming a tourist destination - and it's all thanks to TikTok.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

LOOKING FOR ACTION-PACKED ENTERTAINMENT?

Consider Cart Narc.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS USUALLY WORKS

Florida woman tries to beat DUI test by Irish folk dancing — and fails

(Thanks to pharmaross, Rick Day, Doug Ogg and maryann)

Reminds us of the greatest DUI stop ever.

IN HER DEFENSE, SHE WAS OFF DUTY

POLICE OFFICER THAT DRUNKENLY URINATED IN URBAN OUTFITTERS KEEPS JOB

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

GUYS IN PRANKING ACTION

You don't even want to know.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IT SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Woman jailed for covering Newport pot shop in teriyaki sauce, police say

(Thanks to Ralph)

'TODGER GIRLS'

Thirty women wearing penis costumes fled cops during rowdy hen party in lockdown

(Thanks to pharmaross)

FIRST GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE, AND NOW THIS

Rise of tubeless toilet paper a ‘complete catastrophe’, says Blue Peter star

(Thanks to Static Joeage, who says "First they came for our low-flow toilets...")

WHILE WHAT?

Police in a Pennsylvania city are warning the public to be on the lookout for a white python that escaped while out for a walk.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

BOLO

Nebraska authorities baffled by missing canal water mystery

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

ANY SHARP OBJECTS?

TSA agents at the Charlotte Douglas International Airport in North Carolina recently screened a bald eagle named Clark who was traveling with his handler.

(Thanks to MOTW and Rick Day)

THIS WOULD NOT BE NEWS IN FLORIDA

Always wanted to ‘hit the gas’: Blind Michigan judge drives

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

British firefighters rescue man with hand stuck in sofa

This has been The News From Abroad.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR WAYS TO MAKE THE GAME MORE EXCITING FOR FANS

The search may be over.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN SPORTS

Simulated strumming returns to Finland for Air Guitar World Championships

(Thanks to Bob Brogan, who says "Kind of like a really quiet Woodstock.") 

INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN AUSTRALIA

‘Not what you want to see first thing in the morning’: Huge albino snake climbs through bedroom window

(Thanks to pharmaross)

CANADA PLUNGES EVEN DEEPER INTO ANARCHY

While they might look more like they belong on an episode of South Park, Poo, a person dressed as a giant turd, and Pee, a person dressed as a massive droplet of pee, are the official mascots for Metro Vancouver's "Unflushables" campaign.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

A Man Allegedly Pulled Out His Penis Then Beat Up A Woman With A Dead Seagull In Germany

(Thanks to pharmaross)

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A FAIRY-TALE HONEYMOON

A man was arrested on his honeymoon after Florida cops say he left his sleeping wife to meet a sex worker.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE SAW WANTED BUTTOCKS OPEN FOR THE WHO

Because they don’t have an image that shows the face, West Midlands Police are releasing the “best photo” they had of a wanted thief after a series of robberies in Coventry (England), the photo of the buttocks.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)