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August 07, 2022

HE HAS OUR VOTE

Meet the Kenyan presidential candidate campaigning on marijuana and hyena testicles

(Thanks to Ralph)

BRILLIANT! AND BY ‘BRILLIANT,’ WE MEAN ‘STUPID.’

Dutch beer company Heineken recently teamed up with sneaker designer and customizer Dominic Ciambone, aka The Shoe Surgeon, to create a special sneaker with beer-filled soles.

(Thanks to Ralph)

GOATS ARE DISTANT RELATIVES OF SQUIRRELS

Goat runs loose in Spanish city, breaks into jewelry store

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AND IN OUTDOOR SPORTS

40lbs Catfish Delivers Perfect Crotch Shot To Indiana Fisherman

(Thanks to pharmaross)

August 06, 2022

THESE ITEMS JUST IN FROM THE SPORTS DESK

Athlete's 400m race ruined after penis keeps falling out of loose-fitting shorts

(Thanks to pharmaross and Roberto)

Golden Eagles' Boner unquestioned leader of line

(Thanks to pharmaross)

GUESS THE STATE

Video Shows Lamborghini Urus Speed Through Stop Sign, T-Bone Car, Fly Into Roof of Home, Catch Fire

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

AT EASE, SOLDIER

US Army is developing a tactical bra for its female soldiers

(Thanks to Barry Nester. Al Barkafski and Le Petomane)

WHAT COULD ETC.?

Dad invents flamethrower for kids to play with at home: ‘Best toy ever’

(Thanks to Frank)

August 05, 2022

WEBSITE UPDATE

The slow-loading issue seems to be fixed. The problem appears to have been caused by mayonnaise in the carburetor. Judi has been rehired on a probationary basis.

WE THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA

A Houma man was arrested for allegedly catching too many sharks and having meth in his possession, according to the Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries.

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

LOOKING FOR 'SOMETHING DIFFERENT' IN THE WAY OF FOOTWEAR?

Look no further.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, PLEASE RESUME YOUR JOURNEY

Florida Man Says “I Feel Free. Crazy And Stupid” After Leading Troopers On 130 Mph Chase

(Thanks to pharmaross)

BARILLA NO. 5

NASA FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT THAT WEIRD SPAGHETTI IT FOUND ON MARS WAS

(Thanks to The Perts)

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

A custom, functional replica of a 1966 Batmobile, complete with a working flamethrower, is at the core of a legal spat between a Bay Area real estate agent and an Indiana minister — a spat that may have illicitly involved Bay Area sheriff's investigators flying halfway across the country to conduct a raid.

(Thanks to Doug Ogg)

BLOGSITE ISSUES

We are aware that the blogsite is loading v-e-r-r-r-r-r-r-y slowly, and we are doing all we can to correct it. And by “doing all we can,” we mean “not actually doing anything, unless you count hoping that it gets better.” Also of course judi will be fired. 

AND IN SPORTS

You don’t want to know.

Seriously, especially if you’re a guy, you don’t.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

LOOKS LEGIT TO US

French physicist is forced to apologise for 'planet' photo that was really a snap of some chorizo

(Thanks to Michael Moyer, Howard from Broward, Emily, Leslie and w and Bill Rudersdorf)

August 04, 2022

SOUNDS FUN!

Hong Kong bans eating at annual food expo

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

FORE!

A woman with an open bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey in a bag was arrested for driving a golf cart on Florida’s busiest interstate while drunk, according to an arrest report.

(Thanks to Steve K., Charles Cates and John Grant)

THEY RAN OUT OF PURPLE ONES

Why are green meteors raining down on New Zealand?

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

ATTENTION, UNITED NATIONS HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL:

Disney guests stuck on 'It's a small world' for over an hour

(Thanks to Death Row Doc)

BATS ARE FLYING SQUIRRELS

Bats return to Nevada fire station, forcing it to close

(Thanks to Ralph)

SEND THESE HORSES TO WASHINGTON

Three horses are helping out the Icelandic government by writing incomprehensible messages, raising awareness about the importance of disconnecting from work

(Thanks to Ralph)

August 03, 2022

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Pig organs partially revived hour after death

(Thanks to Steve Bradford)

UH-OH

People who use fun and wit tend to be narcissists – while those who opt for irony, sarcasm and cynicism are more likely to be PSYCHOPATHS, study reveals

(Thanks to Roberto)

WE ASSUME ONE OF THEM IS MIAMI

Four 'malicious' alien civilisations may live inside our Milky Way

(Thanks to John Lobert)

FOUR STARS

We’ll take it.

(Thanks to Grant)

YAWN

Tesla-powered flying car doesn't require a license

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHY THE FROG WAS IN HIS TRAINERS WE’LL NEVER KNOW

Man's feet smell so bad his trainers gassed a frog to death, says wife

(Thanks to Ralph)

HOW MUCH EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED, PEOPLE?

Another Bigfoot sighting has been made just days after video footage of an unidentified mammal was seen in the same area - sparking more theories the beast could be real.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

August 02, 2022

YES, HE* HAS A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

This guy** clung to the blog's windshield all the way to the supermarket.

IMG_0357

*Or possibly she.

**Or possibly gal.

SOUTHBOUND, NO DOUBT

Connecticut man clocked driving at 161 mph in a Corvette

(Thanks to pharmaross and Jeff Meyerson)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man trying to kill spider with a lighter ignites 60-acre wildfire, Utah sheriff says

THEN IT ROBBED A CONVENIENCE STORE

Squirrel Munches On Some Fermented Pears And Gets Drunk

(Thanks to pharmaross and Ralph)

MASSACHUSETTS RESIDENTS: YOU NEED TO EXHALE MORE

CO2 shortage hits Massachusetts breweries

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

'USING YOUTUBE TUTORIALS AND SUPER GLUE'

Man Tries to Perform Nose Job on Himself, Unsurprisingly Ends Up in the Hospital

(Thanks to Carlos Montage)

EVERYBODY GRAB HOLD OF SOMETHING

Earth records ‘shortest day EVER’ after scientists reveal planet ‘spinning faster’

(Thanks to vee and Le Petomane, who says "We blame legalized marijuana.")

TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE

“He told (deputies) he didn’t know the knife was in his shoe, and that the shoes weren’t even his,” the sheriff’s office said in a news release.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

August 01, 2022

WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS HAPPENED

But we know where the driver was headed.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

THAT'LL TEACH 'EM

Man Allegedly Commits Arson at Dealership That He Claims Sold Him a Lemon 36 Years Ago

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and James Flynn)

HELLO, FARMERS?

“Reports from the scene indicate that a vehicle was travelling behind an LDV towing a trailer when a box of sex toys allegedly flew off the trailer, hitting the car behind,” Medi Response said.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS JUST IN

100-year-old woman gets last wish.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

ALWAYS DECLARE YOUR MCMUFFINS

Passenger fined $1,874 after two undeclared McMuffins found in luggage

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Steve K., vee and MOTW)

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

Woman finds 18 scorpions in her suitcase after vacationing in Croatia

(Thanks Al Barkafski)

AREN'T WE ALL

Miller County, Mo. business owner searching for zebra

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

IF THIS DOESN'T END OUR SOCIETY'S OIL DEPENDENCY, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

More than just exhibitionist’s paradise and St. Louis' biggest public nudist event, the World Naked Bike Ride is actually a rolling political protest — an act of free expression that is protected by the First Amendment.

Content Advisory: Photos of naked people, not all of whom, in this blog's opinion, should be naked.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DON'T KEEP US IN SUSPENSE

Can music affect a pig’s mood?

(Thanks yo B&C)

CASE CLOSED

A fisherman spotted a 'half-man, half-dog' beast walking along a riverbank and now an expert has said it could be Bigfoot.

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says: "Bigfoot expert?")

SURE IT COULD

This New Flying Car Could Hit the Market in Weeks After Getting FAA Approval

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and pharmaross)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Meghan Trainor just gave the world an update on her unique bathroom situation with her husband, Daryl Sabara.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

 
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