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August 17, 2022

DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS THIS BLOG DID NOT FINISH READING

Hey Miami Herald, me again

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It is you. I thought I blocked you.

Hello, it's me
I've thought about us for a long long time
Maybe I think too much but something's wrong
There's something here, doesn't last too long
Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine

Dear Meagan, Mi amore. He rallied, but still having problems with spill chex.

Hey, good to hear from you again. The last we knew you had twenty more years to serve. Many things have changed and we're short of money here. Maybe you could loan us a few grand? You can trust us! We await your reply and certified check with bated breath.

"Hey, did you get my email about the Bratwurst Festival Queen losing her title?"

Mrs MT, "No, I deleted it. Stop sending me stupid stuff. I've got like 160 emails to read, stop bothering me."

Why is Maine bothering you ?

So man tom married a former Miss Montana?

โ™ซ
Hello,
Is it me you're looking for?

@cfjk
๐…  You say Montana
And I say Man-Tom-a
You say Bellini
And I say baloney
Montana .. Man-Tom-a
Bellini .. baloney
Let's call the whole thing off ๐… 

By the time I get to Man-Tom-A
She'll be shouting profanities
She'll find the note I forgot to delete hanging in her inbox
She'll laugh, when she reads the part that says I'm hungry
Cause I've gone without breakfast so many times before.

Like a rhinestone cowboy
Getting cards and letters from people I don't even know
And offers comin' over the phone

I'd answer with the famed Emily Dickinson poem:

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you โ€“ Nobody โ€“ too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise โ€“ you know!

How dreary โ€“ to be โ€“ Somebody!
How public โ€“ like a Frog โ€“
To tell one's name โ€“ the livelong June โ€“
To an admiring Bog!

Emily certainly knew a thing or two about social media...

Huh?

Somewhere in South Florida there's a guy named Harold who is sick people asking him if he's the real Miami Harold.

On the plus side, Miami Harold doesn't have a paywall.

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