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August 15, 2022


The 17-metre adult male sperm whale that was found dead on a Nelson beach on Wednesday is to be left to decompose naturally in the tidal zone, the Department of Conservation says.

(Thanks to pharmaross)


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The Department of Transportation gets all the creative minds.

In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Alone again, decomposing naturally

Old symphony conductors never die, they just decompose.

Not to blubber on, but did anyone check the blowhole for golf balls?

So 17-meters is 55 feet 9.291 inches of dead whale.

The Oregon Department of Transportation used 20 boxes of dynamite to blow up the 45-foot sperm whale in 1970.

Given that outcome, I'll pay admission to watch them do the metric conversions necessary to use even more TNT and watch them blast to smithereens nearly 56-feet of rotting sperm whale.

Did they find a Titleist golf ball in the whale's blowhole???

Giddy up!!!


We posted the same thing at the same exact time.

Great minds think alike!

I'm out there George and loving every minute of it.

"DOC Motueka Operations Manager Chris Golding said rangers would regularly check the whale to monitor its decomposition."

Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall to see the reaction of the ranger who draws that short straw?

A Titlist golf ball sits unnoticed inside the blowhole of a 27 metre sperm whale laying dead and decomposing on a Nelson beach, a Department of Conservation ranger whose unfortunate enough to have drawn the short straw, and 20 boxes of now unstable dynamite from the 70's sitting in a long forgotten storage shed at the Oregon Highway department half a world away, all patiently await the incoming tide...

Take a whiff of sea, that ain't no rose
Roll up yer window and hold your nose
You don't have to look and you don't have to see
'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory

You got your
Dead whale in the middle of the 'zone
Dead whale in the middle of the 'zone
Dead whale in the middle of the 'zone
And it's stinkin' to high heaven

*Lights Bic to Louden*

In my younger years growing up in a mining town and having a father who did contract mining, I have had some experience with dynamite. From the dimensions and approximate weight of the dead whale, it should be about a 60-case job using 60% Gelex to properly remove the carcass from the beach.

Now, it's tricky to properly aim an intact dead whale. The only sure thing is it will be in smaller pieces after the explosion. The fun comes when the various parts come crashing down. A friend of my dad had just bought a new pickup that he was proud of. He was quarrying beryl crystals and a big overhanging ledge slid into the pit.

He was an experienced miner and thought he would simply blow the entire piece of huge rock out of his way. The explosion blew the big one-ton mass of rock skyward, and the entire thing crashed onto the hood of his truck, pretty much flattening it.

But rest assured, blowing up that dead whale will be fun to watch---from a distance. Hint, if you attend the event, take a taxi.

I'm sure we could arrange some sort of perfectly natural explosion if we try hard enough. An abandoned beachfront fracking mine, for instance. Yeah, they'll buy that.

So an IED would turn it into a WMD? (Whale of Massive Destruction)

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