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August 06, 2022


US Army is developing a tactical bra for its female soldiers

(Thanks to Barry Nester. Al Barkafski and Le Petomane)


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Well, Katie Perry has the offensive weapon function of that pretty well covered.

Most guys, when they reach a certain age, learn that all bras present a tactical challenge.

Fighting soldiers from the sky
Fearless women who pad and comply
Women who mean just what they say
The brave women of the Green Brassiere
Silver wings protrude from their chest
These are women, America's best
One hundred women will test today
But only three win the Bust survey

A Z-bra?

5* to man tom for remembering.

With freakin' lasers and flamethrowers.

Tactical? Does that mean Kevlar and a K-Bar?

Just put on the shelf next to the Tactical Frisbees.

The DoD will have to call the male counterpart of the ATB the ATM (Army Tactical Mansiere) since the TLA (Three Letter Acronym) for Army Tactical Bro (ATB) is already taken.

Frank, I've just had an epiphany, the jockie strap as an underwear ensemble with the tac-bra!

If female soldiers start using their tactical bras like ATM machines, the Army will need to authorize a study on its' effects on troop morale.

Gotta figure it'll be"man-proof".

The U.S. Army needs to outfit Ukrainian, South Korean, and Taiwanese women, along with female SW Border Patrol Agents with tactical bras like the one in this C.I.A. training film...

The Nut Bra




It will cost ~$750 for each one, and fail to function properly in wet or cold weather

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