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June 19, 2022

CSI: FLATHEAD COUNTY

It's hard to pick just one incident out of this excellent batch, but we'll go with this:

10:01 p.m. A parent who had previously reported their missing two-year-old, called back to say the kid had been found in the kitchen cabinet.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

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A parent who had previously reported their missing two-year-old, called back to say the kid had been found in the kitchen cabinet.

Officer Fife called in from the scene reporting Aunt Bee had scolded Opie after coaxing him from the cabinet, but in a loving high toned voice. Meanwhile the Sheriff had taken Opie out back behind the woodshed and ...from the sound of the cry and impact of the physical impact intervals, apparently had whooped the Helen Crump out of him.

Maybe the kid was there because he thought Dad was going to kill Ralphie

9:58 a.m. Three dogs had been barking for five hours (In their defense, that's only one & two/thirds hour per dog.)

That must eplain why they found the cereal box in the high-chair.

The man had been hit in the head by a car or something big and bad, but it smelled like a bear or maybe a wet skinny dog. When he got to where he called home, he put the kid in the cabinet to keep him safe from stinky bears and forgot about him. Then he smelled another bear, grabbed a gun and went hunting. Authorities think he'll return when he starts remembering where he really lives. He's single and the kid and his mother had never seen the man before.

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