Dave Barry's Blog

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

Police say a woman stabbed a man in his buttocks with a butter knife, causing the man to climb on top of the roof in an effort to get away from the woman.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

PICKING A WEDDING DATE?

Make sure you know what else is going on.

(Thanks to pharmaross) 

Advisory: You may regret clicking.

NOT BITTER AT ALL!

According to an arrest affidavit, Laurie Lynn Hinds, 51, walked into a funeral home in Tyler, Texas, on Nov. 29, walked straight up to the casket, and spit on the corpse.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

HONEY, DOES THIS FLOUR TASTE WEIRD TO YOU?

Cocaine Shipment Worth $83 Million Gets Delivered to Supermarkets By Mistake

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

THAT'S OUR IMPRESSION OF 'LIGHT' BEER

Select Beers Pulled From Some Store Shelves After Reports of ‘Mystery Liquid’ Pouring From Cans

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

THEY COULD HAVE SIMPLY ASKED THIS BLOG

Ancient DNA solves mystery over origin of medieval Black Death

Key Quote: The pandemic originated in wild rodents, most likely marmots, a type of ground squirrel, Slavin said.

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Frank)

IF THAT DOESN'T BUILD THE TEAM, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

Team-building hot coal walk ends in disaster in Switzerland after 13 are rushed to hospital with severe burn

(Thanks to Barry Nester, Al Barkafski and pharmaross)

WAIT... JUST THE PENIS RETURNED?

Prehistoric monster shark Megalodon had huge 20-foot penis - and it may have returned

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE CAN RETIRE THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR SHOE FASHION

Because nobody's going to top this.

(Thanks to Roberto)

BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU DRINK BEER. GOOD FOR YOU!

Why having a ‘beer gut’ may actually be good for you

(Thanks to DaninDallas and pharmaross)