LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL GIFT FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE?
How about a set of hostage-negotiation telephones?
(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)
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June 03, 2022
WE ALL HAVE SKELETONS IN OUR CLOSETS
Utah attorney says he’s wrongly accused of cannibalism amid reelection bid
(Thanks to Alkali Bill)
WE'RE GONNA NEED THICKER SUNBLOCK
Sunbather is BITTEN by wild boar on packed Costa Blanca beach
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
FLORIDAAAAAAAAAA
Woman performing oral sex on driver causes vehicle to crash into FedEx truck, officials say
(Thanks to pharmaross, Mary Smith and DaninDallas)
THE BACKSTROKE BOYS
FROGS form 'boy bands' and sing together to woo females into their pools, study finds
(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)
CSI: EAGLESHAM PAVILION AND PLAYING FIELDS IN EAST RENFREWSHIRE
Bride-to-be wearing inflatable penis costume repeatedly stabbed on her hen do
Technically it was the costume that was stabbed, but whatevs, it was a totally fun event.
(Thanks to pharmaross)
MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY
1:59 p.m. A person called 911 to say that the police officers currently with him were trying to “unofficially” arrest him and he wanted new ones.
2:02 p.m. A dog killed its owner’s brother’s chickens and he was upset about it.
The dog was upset?
2:27 p.m. A man who lost his job for drinking decided to try to cope with it by drinking more.
4:39 p.m. A woman called to complain about crimes against humanity.
AND IN SPORTS
YOU WILL BE STUNNED TO LEARN THAT ALCOHOL APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED
Jet2 passenger dragged off plane after 'urinating on his brother' before fist fight
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
'HAVE THEY CRACKED IT?'
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "It's like a real MENSA meeting going on.")