Dave Barry's Blog

THAT IS A *LOT* OF CLAMSHELL BRAS

Nearly 400 Brits break world record for most mermaids ever in one place

(Thanks to John Lobert)

NEED A SPECIAL GIFT FOR A SPECIAL LADY?

This is probably not it.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

ADVISORY

Not one of the items posted on the blog today, or for that matter yesterday, was sent in by nursecindy.

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Older boozers recover FASTER from surgery than teetotallers, study reveals

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "Finally, a study we can believe in.")

THE ESSENTIALS

Man wanted in Fort Myers for wine and toilet paper theft

(Thanks to pharmaross)

NEW YORK HAS OPOSSUMS?

Woman Is NYC Bar Hero After Calmly Grabbing, Removing Opossum That Wandered Inside

(Thanks to Ralph)

WE'RE GUESSING HE'S SINGLE

I cut 24 traffic cones into small pieces and joined them together to make armor that I could wear.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

WE'RE SOLD

Disconnect from work and let the horses of Iceland reply to your emails while you are on vacation.

(Thanks to Duane Carrell)

THIS IS WHY WE ALWAYS STOP AFTER THAT FIFTH LITER

Benwell arsonist found with cannabis between his buttocks torched property after downing six litres of wine

(Thanks to pharmaross)

SOUNDS FESTIVE!

Vendors needed for Colon celebration

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT IS THE DOCTOR DOING IN THEIR SHOWER?

Doctor warns people to stop peeing in the shower right now

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHY YOUR PIZZA HAS ONLY SEVEN SLICES

 8 in 10 delivery workers admit to eating a customer’s food

(Thanks to pharmaross)

LOUISIANA ART UPDATE

How did a bottle of Tabasco sauce find its way into a painting of the Last Supper?

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

NO MO HOJO

America's last Howard Johnson's restaurant has closed

(Thanks to The Perts)

UPDATE ON WORLDWIDE TOILET-SNAKE EPIDEMIC THAT CONTINUES TO BE IGNORED BY THE SO-CALLED 'MAINSTREAM MEDIA'

Malaysian Man Gets Bitten by Python on His Buttocks Inside Toilet

(Thanks to pharmaross)