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May 18, 2022

COMING SOON TO THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK

Mind-Altering Parasite May Make Infected People More Attractive, Study Suggests

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

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Sex and parasitism seem to go together all too often.

After all those decades of cleaning the catbox, I should be freaking irresistible and completely nuts. Pretty sure at least one of those things has come to pass.

This explains so much about the 'beautiful people'.

Today Suzanne Summers will be telling you about her breakthrough mind-altering, make you more attractive parasite beauty sensation, Toxoplasma gondii. Here, Suzanne's 'after picture' shows what can happen if you are not infected with the parasite.

"Suzanne, are you with us?"

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Suzanne's mind has apparently been permanently altered and it's not regarding any stupid parasite."

"Guys, guys roll out that portable toilet and let's flush this Whamo! crap.

"Get the Shamoo guy out here."

I always quote that great Pantine commercial from the 80s: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." No I know they hate me because I'm diseased.

The quote:

"I never met a parasite I didn't like." is, I believe, attributed to Carl Hiaasen

So the guy with nine wives has a cat with nine lives?

A few beers or a mind altering parasite, six of one...

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