Dave Barry's Blog

WE KNOW WHOSE SIDE WE'RE ON

A Wild Turkey Is Attacking People in D.C. Multiple Agencies Are in Pursuit.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

ALSO THANKS TO SUZIE Q WACVET WHO SENT THIS IN APRIL 22 NOT THAT SHE IS UPSET ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING.

'THE LOVED ONE LAUNCHER'

Blast Cremation Ashes up to 75 ft into the air.

(Thanks to klezmerphan, who says "When you want to go out with a bang...")

YOU KNOW WHERE IT WAS LEADING HER

Accused drunk driver trying to drive down stairs said she was following GPS, cops say

(Thanks to Barry and pharmaross)

IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU ARE FREE TO PROCEED ON THE ROADS OF THE SUNSHINE STATE

A Florida Woman suspected of drunk driving performed “multiple ballet and Irish folk dance moves” while undergoing field sobriety tests after rear-ending a vehicle late Wednesday evening, cops report.

(Thanks to pharmaross and Kevin Meerschaert)

THE WHAT?

The Labia is Cape Town’s treasure of cinema.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

WE SAW PWEFCB OPEN FOR E.L.O.

Planet-warming emissions from cow burps have been seen from space

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Ralph)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Polk County sheriff volunteer arrested for selling drugs out of patrol vehicle

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd says he is "hotter than a bare butt on a tin roof in August"

(Thanks to pharmaross)