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February 15, 2022

TURNS OUT THERE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A SNORKEL

Priest resigns after learning he has performed baptisms wrongly for 20 years

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

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A career in Illinois as a poll watcher awaits.

Sounds like a feature instead of a bug.

"Dear Sir or Madam, I am sorry to inform you that you are not saved, as was previously thought. You are hereby condemned to hell until/unless you reapply for baptism, and the process is completed properly. Yours sincerely, The Pope."

Was he using fire instead of water?

Dear Unsaved:

The only way to rectify this is to extend your new car warranty.


The difference between "I" and "We" is a real nitpicker. Maybe it should be considered a slight misunderstanding, not a reason to condemn innocent souls to the Eternal Toaster.

Now, the Baptists don't have this problem. If you're not held under water too long, once you dry off, you're saved!

Well, a wise man once said: "Religion and Politics are topics best left untouched in polite conversation."
The fact that... Oh, is it "I" or "We" are here commenting pretty much says it for us or me.

So the holy trinity is now me, myself & I? So now the Devil gets their souls, based strictly on a technicality? Demand to see the replay camaras, or as they say, pics or it didn't happen.

^5 Le Pet

I'm Catholic but I feel like I'm pretty safe. I was baptized when I was a baby and then accidentally baptized two more times. I was sponsoring people who were joining the Church. The last time it happened the priest asked me why I didn't say something. What was I supposed to say? Watch it with that Holy Water Padre? I told him I figured it couldn't hurt me and I was just surprised the Holy Water didn't sizzle or get steamy when it hit me for the third time.

It is a throwback to the royal "We," dating from the time of the Holy Roman Empire. Now about that deacon who was baptizing with a squirt gun back in 2020...

I don't understand the problem with "we." In this century, God gets to choose pronouns like everyone else. "Wee" might be objectionable.

Letter from the Pope:
"After review of your baptism ceremony, it has been determined that the holy church has performed an error. In order to rectify this error, please contact your closest parish immediately to schedule a new baptism.

Nature of the error: Mix-up of pronouns

What the Church is doing: Notifying all affected individuals and arranging for a new baptism with the correct pronoun

Cost: There will be no cost to you. However, donations will be accepted."

All affected persons are required to be exorcised, as a precaution.

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