JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE NEWS COULD NOT GET ANY WORSE

Maine is out of Moxie.

(Thanks to wiredog)

And apparently it’s affecting the moose.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Comments

[cfjk]

If you have no Moxie at your disposal I believe Malort is considered to be a suitable substitute, at least in the short term. Speaking of strange moose behavior have any of you run across the gruesome story of a dogsled team training for the Iditarod being savagely attacked by a bull moose?

[Steverino]

Obviously, the moose couldn't get any Moxie.

[ripleysparrow]

We can hook them up with some Cheerwine if they want. It will take their Yankee-ness down a few notches, but that might be a good thing. Sounds like the moose may have been sipping something a little stronger.

[Clankie]

Ayuh. It's good foah the husses too.

[wiredog]

Chocolate milk, too.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/02/03/maine-houlton-chocolate-milk/

[Rod]

If you're out of Moxie, toilet bowl cleaner or battery acid are good substitutes.

[Flathead County Frank]

The moose had a choice of either drinking Moxie or eating snow off hoods of cars. The moose chose wisely.

[pogo]

Anybody else remember Moxie with Halvah?

[Frank Costanza]

Didn't Moxie & Halvah open for Burns & Allen?

[PG-13 Wodehouse]

If you really need Moxie, you can make your own at home. Simply take a Dr. Pepper and extinguish a cigar in it. You may have to vary the soaking time based on the size of the cigar, but once you get that dialed in, it indistinguishable from the real thing.

[Ralph]

Moose lick snow off cars to get road salt. About ten years ago I had a cow moose licking my car parked in my back yard. The calf with her ignored it — he didn't think minivans were cool.

[nursecindy]

ripleysparrow, an ice-cold Sun Drop will help too.

[Eastindy Kompanie]

Maybe that lady who won the NH trip on Jeopardy can parley that into a three-way smuggle, Moxie to Maine, sports betting in NH, and finally booze and smokes back into Mass.