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February 28, 2022
AS WELL IT SHOULD BE
The Pacific Spiny Lumpsucker Is Armed to the Teeth
(Thanks to Ralph)
February 27, 2022
‘NO ONE TURNED UP FOR LAST WEEK’S PLANNING MEETING’
Volunteers wanted for Muff Festival
(Thanks to pharmaross, who says “I’m all in.”)
WHEN IT GETS TO THE BORDER IT HAS TO WALK
(Thanks to pharmaross)
NOOOO
How the Russian invasion of Ukraine could increase the cost of your beer
(Thanks to pharmaross, who says “This is getting serious.”)
IF YOU SQUINT YOU CAN ALSO SEE ITS FLORIDA DRIVER’S LICENSE
The world’s largest bacterium discovered – and you can see it with your own eyes
(Thanks to The Perts)
TO ‘BAT OUT OF HELL’
Woman thrown out of theatre by eight bouncers for singing and tapping along
(Thanks to John Lobert)
February 26, 2022
HIS DOG IS ‘A TRAINED IGUANA RETRIEVER’
Iguana Hunter Kills Giant Invasive Lizards in Florida
(Thanks to Charles Cates, who says “Seriously, do parents let there children roam in the wild there?”)
(To which this blog responds: The wild here is a lot safer than the roads.)
A CALM AND RATIONAL RESPONSE
SIT TALL, AMERICA
CSI: HENRY COUNTY
(Thanks to Ralph)
February 25, 2022
A SKILL THAT WILL TAKE HIM FAR
Canadian teen solves 211 Rubik's cubes while on a pogo stick
(Thanks to B'game)
THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN
Hank the Tank turns out to be 3 bears
(Thanks to The Perts)
WE SAW SPADE-WIELDING WOMAN OPEN FOR THE BANGLES
Moment five monkeys mob a tourist for food before they are chased off by a spade-wielding woman
(Thanks to Alfredo Ortiz Jr.)
WE THINK HE'D HAVE BEEN AMUSED
LOOKING FOR A CAREER CHANGE?
Company offers more than $6,000 to smell dog poop for two months
(Thanks to B'game, Ralph, MOTW and pharmaross)
TGIF
Two Supermassive Black Holes on Track to Collide Will Warp Space and Time
(Thanks to Steve K. who says "Time to buy plywood.")
IT WAS ETC. AFTER PRODUCING ETC.
Crocodile jumps from zoo van and chaos breaks out in Florida traffic
(Thanks to Barry Nester)
WE DESPERATELY NEED THESE OFFICERS IN MIAMI
HE WAS RELEASED AFTER THE HORSE PRODUCED VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE
‘Reckless’ Amish buggy driver arrested for DUI tells cops he ‘had a couple beers’
(Thanks to Geoff Scott and pharmaross)
THEY COULD AT LEAST RING THE BELL
Georgia woman finds herd of dairy cows mooing at her door
(Thanks to Static Joeage)
February 24, 2022
GRACELAND?
Mysterious Repeating Fast Radio Burst Traced to Very Unexpected Location
(Thanks to Rod Nunley)
‘DO YOU TAKE THIS EGG…’
Hunt is on for manageable hen to carry wedding rings down the aisle
(Thanks to Ralph)
WE’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER PADDLEBOARD
(Thanks to pharmaross)
NOT WHAT YOU THINK, FORTUNATELY
Dad finds new way to enjoy himself with a vacuum cleaner
(Thanks to John Lobert and Emily, Leslie and w)
YOU KNOW WHO TOLD THEM HOW TO DO THIS
Magpies have outwitted scientists by helping each other remove tracking devices
(Thanks to Static Joeage)
February 23, 2022
THIS CHECKS OUT
No man can understand women because God put Adam to sleep before he created Eve - Pastor
(Thanks to pharmaross)
NAME THAT CONTINENT
MICE ARE STANDING BY TO CHASE AWAY THE ELEPHANTS
Elephants deployed to chase away rhinoceros in Majuli
(Thanks to Ralph)
IT SEEMS TO US AS THOUGH SCIENTISTS MAKE THIS KIND OF 'DISCOVERY' EVERY THREE OR FOUR DAYS
Scientists uncover filthy truth: Your kitchen sponge holds more bacteria than a lab Petri dish!
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
AS IF THIS UKRAINE THING WASN'T BAD ENOUGH
Bees are explosively ejaculating to death during heat waves
(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and pharmaross)
February 22, 2022
THEIR RESPONSE WAS, QUOTE, ‘EW’
Firefighters respond to Australian highway covered in fish, oil
(Thanks to MOTW, who says “Just say it: ‘Holy mackerel, Batman!’”)
ALWAYS CHECK THE TOW LINE
(Thanks to Gary, who says “Think ice fishing is boring?”)
WHEREVER HE WANTS
Hank the Tank, a 500-Pound Bear, Ransacks a California Community
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
FLORIDA IS ONLY FOURTH?
WHY CAN’T THESE KIDS JUST SMOKE POT, LIKE WE DID?
THE FLORIDA BAR
CAN CONFIRM
Astrophysicists Say 'Planetary Intelligence' Exists… But Earth Doesn't Have Any
(Thanks to Fabian Marson)
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
(Thanks to Fabian Marson, who, noting that this happened in Australia, says “They were surprised because they thought a snake would grab it instead.”)
PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER…
…for Mystery Kangaroo.
(Thanks to MOTW and Not My Usual Alias)
February 21, 2022
ATTENTION PARENTS LOOKING FOR THE IDEAL VEHICLE FOR PICKING UP YOUR CHILD AT MIDDLE SCHOOL
This could surpass the Wienermobile.
(Thanks to Scott Baker)
WHY?
4 in 10 people admit to taste-testing their pet’s food
(Thanks to Le Petomane)
THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS
A Courthouse Bomb Scare Turned Out Be Surprise Taco Bell
(Thanks to Geoff Scott, who says “The explosion happens the next day.”)
February 20, 2022
SPORTS GUYS IN ACTION
Football fan spent a whole year getting beloved team’s shirt tattooed on torso
(Thanks to John Lobert)
AND THE BARTENDER SAYS ‘WHY THE LONG BODY?’
8.5ft Black Mamba Slithered Into Lounge As Man Watched TV
Incredibly, not Australia.
(Thanks to pharmaross)
AND IN SPORTS
Finland skier suffers frozen penis in Olympics mass start race
(Thanks to Michael Parry and Terry Spurgin)
YOU GO, MICHIGAN WOMAN
Michigan woman turning 100 adds another tattoo
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and pharmaross)
YOU KNOW WHOSE ORDERS IT’S FOLLOWING
MARTIANS HAVE NEEDS, TOO
Bizarre rock spotted on Mars is being compared to a sex toy
(Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)
WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE RAMONES
Endangered bum-breathing punk turtles thrill rescuers with late hatching against the odds
(Thanks to Fabian Marson, who says “Animal resucers: easily thrilled.”)