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January 12, 2022

WE MIGHT AS WELL SET FIRE TO THE SO-CALLED 'BILL OF RIGHTS'

Florida police charge 2 women for throwing glitter on man during argument

(Thanks to James Flynn, Ralph and Emily Leslie and w)

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They must be Florida's version of the glitterati

Some people refer to sawdust as man-glitter. If it was from some of those Florida trees we've been warned about they could be facing attempted murder charges.

So, you can push someone in front of a subway train in NYC and - possibly - walk away on your own recognizance, but they got FELONY charges and $75,000 bail for throwing glitter?

When glitter is criminalized, only criminals will have glitter.

I'm guessing that drugs and/or alcohol (or both) were possibly involved.

The girls first statement to police.

"Honest officers, the man was gloomy and we were just trying to brighten his day."

All that glitters is not gold.

In Florida, that's what passes for having a sparkling personality.

Releasing the countermeasures.

In their defense, they thought it was fairy dust.

^5 to Jeff M.

Sarah Franks ==>
Harass Frank

From their mugshots they seem pretty pleased with themselves.

His name was Garry?

Did this glitter come from Australia? Was it venomous or poisonous?

What MOTW said. I thought they looked very pleased with their night's work.

If you've ever had to clean up glitter, you'll understand why this is an appropriate charge. It never goes away! A couple of years ago I dropped a glittery Christmas ornament on my kitchen floor. Even though I've mopped, swept, and vacuumed the area at least a hundred times I still occasionally find glitter on the spot where the ornament dropped. Glitter is the gift that keeps on giving. Sort of like an STD.

Sounds like there might be quite a few Vagazzled horror stories out there among the gliteratti, yet untold.

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