THIS WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT
Alien lizards are ruling the planet, according to thousands of millennials
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko and Ralph)
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Alien lizards are ruling the planet, according to thousands of millennials
(Thanks to Peter Metrinko and Ralph)
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Isn't "thousands of millennials" kinda like a thousand square millennials? But in their defense at least they admit the reptilians are not native to the planet thereby denying any ancestral connection, so no divine right of kings there, yes?
Posted by: not David Icke | January 02, 2022 at 01:01 PM
GEICO is their main outlet to control the World.
Posted by: Qaz | January 02, 2022 at 01:03 PM
Thanks, Qaz, I always wondered why it seemed the Geico lizard's accent was a bit out of place.
Posted by: the Liberty Mutual emu | January 02, 2022 at 01:11 PM
Whoa! This explains everything!
Posted by: pogo | January 02, 2022 at 01:12 PM
This is correct, of course. That explains why an iguana was trying to boss me around.
Posted by: Steverino | January 02, 2022 at 02:43 PM
Let's be clear. 12 percent of millennials polled SAID they believe alien lizards are ruling the Earth, but that doesn't mean any of them actually do. It's the sort of thing they'd say just to annoy us old farts. ids today.
Posted by: John "Ol' Chumbucket" Baur | January 02, 2022 at 03:07 PM
At least 12% of millenials believe anything they read online.
Posted by: wanderer2575 | January 02, 2022 at 04:37 PM
Sounds like a good plot for a 1980's TV show.
Posted by: Clankie | January 02, 2022 at 05:24 PM
According to a webpage on the Vox site, possible signs that someone is a lizard person include: Green eyes, good eyesight or hearing, red hair, and low blood pressure.
I was disturbed by the first item on the list, fearing that I might be a lizard person without knowing it. But since I have no hair, high blood pressure, poor vision, and have to say “huh?” 100 times a day, I guess I can strike this worry off my list. Now I can get back to fretting over how to scrape up $225 for that beef jerky underwear.
Posted by: Math-Yoda | January 02, 2022 at 05:34 PM
Aren't the alien tipoffs red eyes, blue blood, being a cold-blooded psychopath, and turning green with envy when looking at another's wealth?
Posted by: Dr. Johnny Fever | January 02, 2022 at 05:48 PM
The Roswell, New Mexico, space aliens claim this article is mostly wrong. Every solar system has reptilian beings that can assume the identity of any race they choose. They are not rulers, but since they have no feelings or empathy, they excel at many jobs. Here on Earth, there are many hired as Tax collectors, DMV personal, parking enforcers, telemarketers, etc. Basically, since they are cold-blooded snake creatures, any job that requires no caring feelings of any kind. They never make it as rulers or kings because they have a tendency to eat their subjects. But they generally make great helpers as long as they are well paid.
They claim Earth's sentient reptilians are from a moon that orbits Uranus...at this point the Roswell aliens started laughing, bought everyone in the Geezer Acres community house a beer and refused to say any more about reptilians.
Posted by: Le Petomane | January 02, 2022 at 06:40 PM
The squirrels are slipping in world domination.
Posted by: Jane Linderman | January 02, 2022 at 11:22 PM
I try to keep my lizard tail tucked into my pants and down into a sock but women keep staring at it.
I tell them I have a bad case of a reptile dysfunction.
Posted by: pharmaross | January 02, 2022 at 11:48 PM
@pharmaross
You sound like you may be sponge worthy.
Posted by: Elaine Benes | January 02, 2022 at 11:54 PM
The Doctor Who episode "Aliens of London", was actually true?
What else are they not telling us?
Posted by: Steve | January 03, 2022 at 05:00 AM
Giddy-up pharmaross, way to keep it in your sneaker!
Posted by: Cosmo K. | January 03, 2022 at 05:33 AM
Somebody blabbed. The first rule of Reptile Club is not to talk about Reptile Club.
Posted by: ripleysparrow | January 03, 2022 at 09:19 AM
Hold on there, Jane! The squirrels may be lizard aliens in disguise. This could explain their anti-human behavior.
Posted by: Math-Yoda | January 03, 2022 at 09:19 AM
@Ol' Chumbucket and @Steve: that were my thoughts, too.
I gotta ask this about the picture they had of conspiracy theorist proponent David Icke - they chose a photo with his apparent drool on it? Were there no photos available without the drool?
Posted by: MOTW | January 03, 2022 at 09:30 AM