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January 02, 2022

THIS WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT

Alien lizards are ruling the planet, according to thousands of millennials

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko and Ralph)

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Isn't "thousands of millennials" kinda like a thousand square millennials? But in their defense at least they admit the reptilians are not native to the planet thereby denying any ancestral connection, so no divine right of kings there, yes?

GEICO is their main outlet to control the World.

Thanks, Qaz, I always wondered why it seemed the Geico lizard's accent was a bit out of place.

Whoa! This explains everything!

This is correct, of course. That explains why an iguana was trying to boss me around.

Let's be clear. 12 percent of millennials polled SAID they believe alien lizards are ruling the Earth, but that doesn't mean any of them actually do. It's the sort of thing they'd say just to annoy us old farts. ids today.

At least 12% of millenials believe anything they read online.

Sounds like a good plot for a 1980's TV show.

According to a webpage on the Vox site, possible signs that someone is a lizard person include: Green eyes, good eyesight or hearing, red hair, and low blood pressure.

I was disturbed by the first item on the list, fearing that I might be a lizard person without knowing it. But since I have no hair, high blood pressure, poor vision, and have to say “huh?” 100 times a day, I guess I can strike this worry off my list. Now I can get back to fretting over how to scrape up $225 for that beef jerky underwear.

Aren't the alien tipoffs red eyes, blue blood, being a cold-blooded psychopath, and turning green with envy when looking at another's wealth?

The Roswell, New Mexico, space aliens claim this article is mostly wrong. Every solar system has reptilian beings that can assume the identity of any race they choose. They are not rulers, but since they have no feelings or empathy, they excel at many jobs. Here on Earth, there are many hired as Tax collectors, DMV personal, parking enforcers, telemarketers, etc. Basically, since they are cold-blooded snake creatures, any job that requires no caring feelings of any kind. They never make it as rulers or kings because they have a tendency to eat their subjects. But they generally make great helpers as long as they are well paid.

They claim Earth's sentient reptilians are from a moon that orbits Uranus...at this point the Roswell aliens started laughing, bought everyone in the Geezer Acres community house a beer and refused to say any more about reptilians.

The squirrels are slipping in world domination.

I try to keep my lizard tail tucked into my pants and down into a sock but women keep staring at it.

I tell them I have a bad case of a reptile dysfunction.

@pharmaross

You sound like you may be sponge worthy.

The Doctor Who episode "Aliens of London", was actually true?

What else are they not telling us?

Giddy-up pharmaross, way to keep it in your sneaker!

Somebody blabbed. The first rule of Reptile Club is not to talk about Reptile Club.

Hold on there, Jane! The squirrels may be lizard aliens in disguise. This could explain their anti-human behavior.

@Ol' Chumbucket and @Steve: that were my thoughts, too.

I gotta ask this about the picture they had of conspiracy theorist proponent David Icke - they chose a photo with his apparent drool on it? Were there no photos available without the drool?

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