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January 17, 2022

OH SHUT UP

Earth's Insides Are Cooling Faster Than We Thought, And It Will Mess Things Up

(Thanks to Rod Nunley and Steve K.)

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In other news, squirrels discovered building interplanetary spaceship.

So, now I'm confused. Are we warming up? Or cooling down? Does the warming up slow down the cooling down or does the cooling down slow down the warming up?

Either way, up or down, it sounds like we'll be in some sort of trouble long before the Sun explodes in a couple billion years or so.

The other lesson from this: Don't stand in the middle of the laser storm when they throw the "on" switch.

So, should I skip the rent payment yet?

I'm no expert on planet saving, but couldn't we dump a few truckloads of hot chili peppers, such as jalapenos into an active volcano and cure the cooling problem?

Dr, Dementia, professor of earth science and taxidermy at Flathead U.U., claims exothermia is a rather common malady among Class M planets. It can be cured by teleportation of an exothermic of device of proper power to the center of the earth and throwing the "on" switch. If this answer is unavailable, implement plan B, which was taught to school children in the 50's to survive an atomic bomb blast.

Plan B ---Crawl under any desk. Assume a sitting position. Place both of your hands on the back of your head and lace your fingers. Bend down and kiss your butt goodby.

I feel the earth .. cool .. under my feet

To be inscribed on Ms. Starr's tombstone:

She was good with Amphibians.

In other words, Hell is finally freezing over?

" ... possibly turning Earth into a barren rock ... [but] it's possible that Earth will become uninhabitable by other mechanisms long before then ... " So not to worry ...

Rob Petrie:
What is the main purpose in going to the Earth's center?

Laura Petrie: To find out whether it's chewy or chocolate creme.

Le Pet, you're bordering on treason there! I'll go to a fiery grave before I'll waste a single glorious jalapeño on something other than human consumption.

Rod Nunley--You make a good point. Tomorrow, I plan to get a double order of jalapeno poppers with my burger. Also, if Hell freezes over, we won't be sent to a fiery grave, we can all maybe go ice skating with the Devil.

I like my planets the way I like my women. Hot on the outside, cool on the inside.

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