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January 03, 2022

HOW COLD IS MINNEAPOLIS?

Minneapolis so cold that NHL is warming ice for Winter Classic

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

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There probably is a Norwegian well-digger in the region whose hip pocket could be used scientifically as a comparison.

*NSFW* BAD LANGUAGE
It's so cold in Minneapolis that even good students are refusing to take tests.


My father has a saying about the cold that has always puzzled us: "It's colder that the ball clappers of doom." We have attempted to ask him what or who ball clappers are and what their normal average temperature is, but he pretends that he can't hear us. Recently, Siri auto-corrected the spelling to _bald_ clappers of doom, but that didn't really clear it up.

Saturday, we went from 76 to 21 in a matter of hours. Can't our country buy some God-forsaken hellhole country on the equator and fix it up so that I can move there and never be cold again?

{{ hugs Rod }} There, there. Would you like me to fix you a hot beverage?

Rod, we were at 75 degrees on New Year's Day, 72 yesterday, and now it's 36 with a chance of snow. I agree with your suggestion.

It's snowing in Baltimore, MD, we're expecting up to three inches, so naturally the city is at a standstill.

So those stories about male brass monkeys in Minnesota being neutered are true.

So we should expect even more fights than usual to break out as the players attempt to stay warm?

I had a Canadian girlfriend that was a hockey goalie. She liked me to slip it between her legs after each period.

So LNT, somewhere between a high sticking and a slap-shot?

Yup. She liked a high hard one when I'm in the slot or my backhand in the crease.

It gets so cold there that the politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets.

MD snow update:

https://foxbaltimore.com/news/local/41-crashes-stay-off-the-roads-gov-hogan

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