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January 03, 2022

EN GARDE, FLORIDA MAN

A man was hospitalized Saturday evening after he fell off a bicycle and accidentally stabbed himself with a sword in his backpack, according to Pasco County Fire Rescue.

(Thanks to Jerry Whittle and pharmaross)

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Another Florida Man Sworded Tale

What a dork. Could you imagine how different literature would have been received if Don Quixote had gone jousting for windmills on a bicycle and fallen off it attacking the first one he saw?

This couldn't have happened with a lightsaber.

Prince Ali! Mighty is he! Ali Ababwa
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the galloping hordes
A hundred bad guys with swords
Who sent those goons to their lords?
Not Florida Man!

If I had a dime for every time I fell on my sword....

It's Florida Man so that "sword" is most likely just a swizzle stick he copped from yesterdays' happy hour, explaining his falling off the bicycle.

"I'll have swords for twelve-hundred, Ken."

"It's "S' words you idiot."

At least he wasn't hoist by his own petard.

It’s got to be more dignified to show up at the hospital and say, “I fell on my sword” than to say, “I fell and got this thing lodged in my anus.” You probably hear fewer guffaws out on the hallway if you fall in a sword.

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