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December 28, 2021


Dear Dave Barry,

Trusting that you are keeping well amid this pandemic.

I am writing this email to make a sincere follow-up on my previous email below to know whether you had the time to check it.


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We regret to inform you of this bog's strict policy not to respond to previous emails. Thank-you for your concern, now stop it!

At least is isn't what dogs do: You know, P mail.

If you check the sender, likely to be sent to you by you. They broke into your 'contacts' and are sending the email reminder from everyone saved in your 'contacts'.

Things I have actually done.

A telephone solicitor, a nice sounding young woman, called and tried to sell me something, specifically what it was she was selling I have forgotten. I asked her if she could call me at my office number, I couldn't take her call on that line. "Sure", she enthusiastically said. So, I gave her the police dispatch number. A minute or two later my phone started ringing over and over. I never answered. YES!

WARNING: Had I answered there would have ben a distinct possibility curse words would have been involved.

But Dave! They were being sincere!

Note, mrs. man tom didn't like it I gave the telephone solicitor my call back number, the police dispatch desk, and she let me know it.

Remember the great, it was annoying OK, song, Don't EMAIL Us, We'll EMAIL you?"

Really incredible this song has not been used in countless commercials. The song makes for a great earworm.

Eating cold baked beans out of the can, alone, for supper tonight man ton?

Dear constant emailer--

As a courtesy, you should be notified that we now have access to alien teleportation capabilities, thanks to Roswell, New Mexico, contacts. Your next solicitation will be targeted to teleport you a gift box from Australia. We can guarantee it will contain the surprise of a lifetime.

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