WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE NOBEL PRIZES

Penis ring is the first ever wearable “erection tracker” that can detect if you’re at risk of diseases

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Comments

[Jim]

As a Christmas gift, I suppose this would qualify as a stocking stuffer.

[ripleysparrow]

A future ransomware demand: "Dear Sir, we have your erection tracker data and your phone contacts list. If you do not pay us lotsa cryptocurrency, we will send your erection statistics to all your contacts and display them on the traffic alert signs in your area. You will enjoy many new nicknames."

[man tom]

For Sale

Used Adam Ring

Had only two erections per night, lasting two hours total. I am a sound sleeper, so erectile time is estimated. Very good condition. Minimal wear or stretching of the ring itself. A tight fitter. Also works great as a cat collar especially on the 1 week old type. I'll throw in a no-touch digital thermometer for free. Just pay additional shipping.

[jg]

I imagine that piercing is a buyup option

[Flathead County Frank]

I'm confused. Do you put the ring on the half-peeled banana, and if that's the case. can you use the unused part of the banana on your morning cereal. Is a smartphone necessary to track the banana?
This is one bit of technology that will go over like a lead balloon here in Flathead County.

[cfjk]

If you like it. put a ring on it.

[man tom]

FCF - Due to your confusion and lack of understanding certain technological issues - I'm withdrawing my offer of the free no-touch digital thermometer to your area.

Fine Print below:

Subject to change which may include the entire state.

[Flathead County Frank]

man tom---That's ok. I understand, we have an anal acupuncturist moving here to handle these matters.