« Previous | Main | Next »

October 18, 2021

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE NOBEL PRIZES

Penis ring is the first ever wearable “erection tracker” that can detect if you’re at risk of diseases

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

As a Christmas gift, I suppose this would qualify as a stocking stuffer.

A future ransomware demand: "Dear Sir, we have your erection tracker data and your phone contacts list. If you do not pay us lotsa cryptocurrency, we will send your erection statistics to all your contacts and display them on the traffic alert signs in your area. You will enjoy many new nicknames."

For Sale

Used Adam Ring

Had only two erections per night, lasting two hours total. I am a sound sleeper, so erectile time is estimated. Very good condition. Minimal wear or stretching of the ring itself. A tight fitter. Also works great as a cat collar especially on the 1 week old type. I'll throw in a no-touch digital thermometer for free. Just pay additional shipping.

I imagine that piercing is a buyup option

I'm confused. Do you put the ring on the half-peeled banana, and if that's the case. can you use the unused part of the banana on your morning cereal. Is a smartphone necessary to track the banana?
This is one bit of technology that will go over like a lead balloon here in Flathead County.

If you like it. put a ring on it.

FCF - Due to your confusion and lack of understanding certain technological issues - I'm withdrawing my offer of the free no-touch digital thermometer to your area.

Fine Print below:

Subject to change which may include the entire state.

man tom---That's ok. I understand, we have an anal acupuncturist moving here to handle these matters.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise