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October 06, 2021

THEY WERE GOING TO 'ASSIST' A TARANTULA?

Animal rescuers in California were called out to assist a tarantula spotted stranded on the roof of a home, but arrived to find the supposed spider was an old Halloween decoration.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

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Break out the bananas.

Maybe they'll come back when it's time to put up the holiday decorations?

Where I'm at police would have dispatched the 'social response teams' which consists of a van with a couple of social workers set to check on the tarantula's welfare and find a shelter if the tarantula agreed to stop living on the street, sober up and put down the meth pipe. Also, the team would inform the tarantula of some paperwork which could be filled out prompting the state to immediately begin issuing monetary aid in the amount of $600 a week tax free. If the tarantula chose to say, "no thanks" to the offer the team would say, "stay here on the roof or set up on the sidewalk in front of the house and scare people for as long as you like.

Shoot, we used to assist them all the time. They'd be crossing the road, and since they're slow, make for easy roadkill. We'd jump out, pick them up in our hats, and move them to the side of the road.

Tarantulas are really pretty cool.

Glad for you, Rod. But I would still hold a rolled up newspaper or electronic fly swatter in my hand.

I used to have tarantulas on the prowl looking for mates in my former Phoenix, AZ yard. They shared the space with the rattlesnakes, scorpions & Black Widow spiders.

Here in SW Florida, no tarantulas yet... just alligators, snakes & large mosquitoes carrying a plethora of diseases in my backyard. No pythons or iguanas in my yard or toilet yet.

As 'season' begins, there is an influx of divorcees and widows arriving that hunt solo and in packs. They can be lethal if they attach to your bank accounts or credit cards.

Growing up in the Southwest, tarantula migrations during their mating season were always fun to watch. The wild screams from newcomers and tourists were entertaining. A few wound up in teachers desks or girls lockers. They look mean and deadly, but actually are pretty harmless. Some kids would put one on their shoulder and walk around on main street giving great fun for us kids.

We never thought they ever required assistance of any kind.

“A spider lives inside my head
Who weaves a strange and wondrous web
Of silken threads and silver strings
To catch all sorts of flying things,
Like crumbs of thoughts and bits of smiles
And specks of dried-up tears,
And dust of dreams that catch and cling
For years and years and years...”

I would assists those spiders with a flamethrower.

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