« September 2021 | Main

October 28, 2021

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hunter’s Creek Elementary principal tried to run over neighbor, Orange County deputies say

(Thanks to pharmaross)

O SOLE MIO, DUDE

Venice sees its first ever gondolier doping scandal after prize-winning rower is stripped of his award after testing positive for marijuana

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IN THAT CASE, SIR...

A Wyoming man told police he couldn’t have been driving drunk because his 4-year-old son was behind the wheel when they were pulled over Saturday.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

FLORIDA DEMANDS A RECOUNT

The Best and Worst Drivers by State

(Thanks to John Lobert)

AS RECOMMENDED BY THE AAA

Florida man found with live grenade, clown mannequin inside truck

(Thanks to Le Petomane, pharmaross and DaninDallas)

HEALTH ADVISORY

Masturbation will leave hands pregnant in afterlife: Muslim televangelist

(Thanks to Ralph)

THAT’S ONE DEFINITION

Torpedo Factory plans could include cafe, maker-space, and ‘gloryholes’

Ruggiero also said that the glass studio would include “gloryholes” — spaces for reheating glass to soften it up.

(Thanks to Albert W. Turnbull)

BEST SHOW AND TELL EVER

Child Finds Massive Venomous Snake Hiding in School Backpack

You know the continent.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WE ARE DEVASTATED

Hello davebarry Team,

Hope this email brings you a better business opportunity.

While making a thorough analysis we found your website is not fully updated as per the latest guideline from Google.

October 27, 2021

WE SAW THE ILLEGAL-VOMIT SEIZERS OPEN FOR CHER

17 Pounds of Illegal Sperm Whale Vomit Seized by Police in Sting Operation

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT CHOICE DID SHE HAVE?

A resident of a high-rise condominium in Thailand cut the support rope for two painters, apparently angry she wasn't told they would be doing work, and left them hanging above the 26th floor until a couple rescued them, police said Wednesday.

Name We Do Not Find In Any Way Amusing: Pol. Col. Pongjak Preechakarunpong

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

THEY WANTED TO SPEAK TO US ABOUT OUR CAR WARRANTY

Mysterious ‘alien beacon’ was false alarm

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

THIS DOES NOT SOUND GOOD

Hackers Using Squirrelwaffle Loader to Deploy Qakbot and Cobalt Strike

(Thanks to Sean T)

REPLACING WALTER MONDALE

Giant beaver wins Science Museum contest to become Minnesota’s state fossil

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THESE SHARKS TODAY

Baby white sharks can't tell difference between humans and seals: Study

(Thanks to The Perts)

DOG SHOWS IN MIAMI

They’re a little different.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

October 26, 2021

DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS THIS BLOG DID NOT FINISH READING

Hi Dave,

Hope you are doing well! I just wanted to get in touch to see if you had seen my email below.

TO PROTECT AND SERVE

Police deflate inflatable penis carried by hen party in York

(Thanks to pharmaross)

'HOLD UP' HEH HEH

Benefits of Post-Op Penile Traction Therapy Hold Up Over Time

(Thanks to B'game)

THE CRITICAL LEGAL QUESTION: HARD OR SOFT SHELL?

Braiden Lankford, 20, was arrested late Saturday evening for allegedly striking her mother in the head with two thrown tacos inside the family’s residence in the Tampa Bay area.

(Thanks to Barry Nester and Le Petomane)

THAT'S WEIRD, DUDE, BECAUSE WE CAN NEVER KEEP THEM LIT

Seattle police bust lucrative Lego trafficking scheme

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

WHOLE LOTTA SHARPENIN' GOIN' ON

As part of the precautions, voters at Ota’s polling places will take the pencil they’re given to fill in their ballot home with them, so that each writing instrument will be only be used by one person. Complicating matters further, the starting date for early voting was brought forward to October 20, meaning that the specially treated, bacteria-resistant pencils needed to be ordered in a hurry to meet the deadline. And the pencils in question don’t come pre-sharpened.

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT HAS THIS BLOG’S VOTE

Bat ‘winning by quite a lot’ in New Zealand’s Bird of the Year contest

(Thanks to The Perts)

THEY ALSO DO A KILLER ‘FREE BIRD’

These lemurs could win a Grammy for their rhythmic singing abilities

(Thanks to vee)

October 25, 2021

NOT A MUSIC LOVER

79-year-old father accused of shooting son for playing guitar too long

Well In That Case: He allegedly said he was only trying to shoot the guitar but hit his son in the side of his stomach.

(Thanks to Gregory Snow)

ATTENTION, CONSUMERS:

The pros and cons of using Fluffy Foam Soy Sauce

(Thanks to Ralph)

This seems like a good time to link to this, which you old-time blogsters no doubt recall fondly.

HARD PASS

Meet The New Russian Environmental Protection Mascot!

(Thanks to John Lobert)

YET ANOTHER REASON WHY YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH A CAR

Woman sues GEICO for $1 million after contracting STD during car sex

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

WE SAW EMERGENCY SWEATPANTS OPEN FOR THE VOGUES

California haunted house is so scary, it keeps emergency sweatpants just for ‘accidents’

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

‘BIG MONEY IS INVOLVED’

Inside the jaw-clenching world of cricket fighting in China

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Rod Nunley)

October 24, 2021

HAPPENS ALL THE TIME

Man In Court After Using Another Man’s Penis To Impregnate 3 Women

(Thanks to Barry Nester and pharmaross)

WE KNOW WHY: THE SQUIRRELS

Buzzards that vomit when threatened and leave piles of acidic dropping have invaded a small town and nobody knows why

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

THAT’S A LOT OF LEGISLATING

Members of Parliament (MPs) in Malawi are reported to use at least 10,000 condoms at the end of every month.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

October 23, 2021

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

The study which was conducted by a University in India suggested that there is a positive relationship between washing of women’s panties and men’s health.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘WE?’

Our Ancestors Had Tails. Why Don’t We?

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

WE PREFER THE TACTICS OF THE ITALIAN FLIGHT ATTENDANTS

Man released two rats into workplace after ‘grievance’ with management

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THEY HAVE THIS BLOG’S SUPPORT

Italian flight attendants strip off to protest working conditions

(Thanks to David Emery)

October 22, 2021

SEND THIS COBRA TO WASHINGTON

This is a video of a clearly agitated cobra guarding a door in Ghorahi, Nepal.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

PLEASE MAKE A NOTE OF IT

“Together Phuket Stepping Forward” is the new tourism campaign designed to be the successor to the Phuket Sandbox

(Thanks to pharmaross)

DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS WE NEVER FINISHED READING

Hi Dave,

I just came across your page and have a quick suggestion.

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Scientists Have Found a Connection Between Nose Size and Penis Size

(Thanks to pharmaross)

AFTER THEY PRODUCED VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS’ LICENSES

Pablo Escobar's Cocaine Hippos Are Legally People, Court Rules

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IDAHO FALLS NIGHTLIFE UPDATE

Man covered in vomit and urine attacked officers on traffic stop

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Grandmother attacked with pumpkin after parking in front of man’s Pittsburgh home

(Thanks to Jeff From Pittsburgh, who says he is “moving to Florida soon to get away from crazy people.”) (Good luck with that, Jeff From Pittsburgh)

IT WAS INSTANTLY EATEN BY AN EVEN MORE GIGANTIC SNAKE

Gigantic hailstone in Australia sets new record

(Thanks to wiredog)

October 21, 2021

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Scientists create new sperm cells using monkey stem cells

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Michael Parry)

OR AS IT'S KNOWN IN AUSTRALIA: THURSDAY

Today is National Reptile Awareness Day.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

IN HIS DEFENSE, IT WAS DRAINED

Intoxicated driver runs car into motel swimming pool

A Florida license etc.

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THEY’RE HEADED FOR AUSTRALIA

The great tarantula migration is taking place across America

(Thanks to pharmaross)

THIS JUST IN

Washington state local news airs 13-second porn clip during weather forecast

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise