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October 31, 2021
FIRST AMENDMENT, SCHMIRST AMENDMENT
YOU KNOW WHO GAVE THE ORDER
Jellyfish attack nuclear power plant. Again.
(Thanks to Ralph)
THAT WOULD DEFINITELY INFLUENCE US
Influencers in Shanghai are posing at Costco, pretending they're in L.A.
(Thanks to The Perts)
October 30, 2021
DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS THIS BLOG DID NOT FINISH READING
Hello,
Did you receive my previous email?
CSI: WALMART
THE BEAR BROKE IN WITH HIS FISTS?
Muskoka man, 80, fights off bear that broke into cottage with his fists, wins bravery award
(Thanks to Bonni and Craig Harden)
WE’RE GUESSING IT INVOLVES SQUIRRELS
The remarkable story of a man who found 162 bowling balls under his house
(Thanks to Doug in Sacramento)
LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO HAVE A BABY?
You might want to rule out Keonjhar.
(Thanks to pharmaross)
TRICK OR TREAT, DUDE
State attorneys general issue a warning for Halloween about marijuana-type treats
(Thanks to pharmaross)
EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION OF THE WEEK SO FAR
Unfortunately, our strict policy prohibits us from bringing you the Educational Institution of the Week So Far.
(Thanks to Peter Romanowski)
IT WAS TALKING TO A CALLER ABOUT ITS CAR’S EXTENDED WARRANTY
Elusive sperm whale off California coast found using underwater hydrophone
(Thanks to DaninDallas)
HEY, NOBODY WAS USING IT
October 29, 2021
'WE KEPT HEARING THE WATER SPLASH'
THEY CONSTANTLY WHAP THEMSELVES WITH TINY SPIDER MAGAZINES
Some spiders also suffer from arachnophobia, study suggests
(Thanks to Bonni and Craig Harden)
WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT
Apple Patent Outlines Direct Retinal Projection To Beam AR Images Onto Your Eyeballs
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
THATS THE BEST PART
Woman finds chicken head in order of wings
(Thanks to Stan Ruth)
October 28, 2021
FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hunter’s Creek Elementary principal tried to run over neighbor, Orange County deputies say
(Thanks to pharmaross)
O SOLE MIO, DUDE
IN THAT CASE, SIR...
FLORIDA DEMANDS A RECOUNT
The Best and Worst Drivers by State
(Thanks to John Lobert)
AS RECOMMENDED BY THE AAA
Florida man found with live grenade, clown mannequin inside truck
(Thanks to Le Petomane, pharmaross and DaninDallas)
HEALTH ADVISORY
THAT’S ONE DEFINITION
Torpedo Factory plans could include cafe, maker-space, and ‘gloryholes’
Ruggiero also said that the glass studio would include “gloryholes” — spaces for reheating glass to soften it up.
(Thanks to Albert W. Turnbull)
BEST SHOW AND TELL EVER
Child Finds Massive Venomous Snake Hiding in School Backpack
You know the continent.
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WE ARE DEVASTATED
Hello davebarry Team,
Hope this email brings you a better business opportunity.
While making a thorough analysis we found your website is not fully updated as per the latest guideline from Google.
October 27, 2021
WE SAW THE ILLEGAL-VOMIT SEIZERS OPEN FOR CHER
17 Pounds of Illegal Sperm Whale Vomit Seized by Police in Sting Operation
(Thanks to pharmaross)
WHAT CHOICE DID SHE HAVE?
Name We Do Not Find In Any Way Amusing: Pol. Col. Pongjak Preechakarunpong
(Thanks to Barry Nester)
THEY WANTED TO SPEAK TO US ABOUT OUR CAR WARRANTY
Mysterious ‘alien beacon’ was false alarm
(Thanks to Rod Nunley)
THIS DOES NOT SOUND GOOD
Hackers Using Squirrelwaffle Loader to Deploy Qakbot and Cobalt Strike
(Thanks to Sean T)
REPLACING WALTER MONDALE
Giant beaver wins Science Museum contest to become Minnesota’s state fossil
(Thanks to pharmaross)
THESE SHARKS TODAY
Baby white sharks can't tell difference between humans and seals: Study
(Thanks to The Perts)
DOG SHOWS IN MIAMI
(Thanks to pharmaross)
October 26, 2021
DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS THIS BLOG DID NOT FINISH READING
Hi Dave,
Hope you are doing well! I just wanted to get in touch to see if you had seen my email below.
TO PROTECT AND SERVE
Police deflate inflatable penis carried by hen party in York
(Thanks to pharmaross)
'HOLD UP' HEH HEH
Benefits of Post-Op Penile Traction Therapy Hold Up Over Time
(Thanks to B'game)
THE CRITICAL LEGAL QUESTION: HARD OR SOFT SHELL?
THAT'S WEIRD, DUDE, BECAUSE WE CAN NEVER KEEP THEM LIT
Seattle police bust lucrative Lego trafficking scheme
(Thanks to Fabian Marson)
IT HAS THIS BLOG’S VOTE
Bat ‘winning by quite a lot’ in New Zealand’s Bird of the Year contest
(Thanks to The Perts)
THEY ALSO DO A KILLER ‘FREE BIRD’
October 25, 2021
NOT A MUSIC LOVER
79-year-old father accused of shooting son for playing guitar too long
Well In That Case: He allegedly said he was only trying to shoot the guitar but hit his son in the side of his stomach.
(Thanks to Gregory Snow)
ATTENTION, CONSUMERS:
The pros and cons of using Fluffy Foam Soy Sauce
(Thanks to Ralph)
This seems like a good time to link to this, which you old-time blogsters no doubt recall fondly.
HARD PASS
Meet The New Russian Environmental Protection Mascot!
(Thanks to John Lobert)
YET ANOTHER REASON WHY YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH A CAR
Woman sues GEICO for $1 million after contracting STD during car sex
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)
WE SAW EMERGENCY SWEATPANTS OPEN FOR THE VOGUES
California haunted house is so scary, it keeps emergency sweatpants just for ‘accidents’
(Thanks to Matt Filar)
‘BIG MONEY IS INVOLVED’
Inside the jaw-clenching world of cricket fighting in China
(Thanks to Asher Scheiner and Rod Nunley)
October 24, 2021
HAPPENS ALL THE TIME
Man In Court After Using Another Man’s Penis To Impregnate 3 Women
(Thanks to Barry Nester and pharmaross)